


so won't you try to come

by fadetomorrow



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 03:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12696117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadetomorrow/pseuds/fadetomorrow
Summary: Yoongi just needed someone to distract him from being a workaholic. What he ended up with could be something great if he could just figure out how to communicate.





	so won't you try to come

**Author's Note:**

> the quality of this noticeably deteriorates as you get closer to the end. welp. this setting starts in 2016/17 and is mostly canon compliant except for when i flipped the order of certain events like when ISAC happened.
> 
> anyway just doing my duty writing rarepairs lol per usual sorry if anyone actively subscribes to me. i'll prob be going back to "normal" pairings for a while now though.

Meeting famous people isn't difficult as an idol. At the end of the day, everyone knows everyone else, will cross paths with each other at least once a year if not more. The Korean entertainment industry is more of a dysfunctional family than anything else.

So Yoongi running into Chanyeol in the men's bathroom of yet another year end award show is just one more day in the proverbial office. He nods his head in greeting and washes his hands in silence, tries to ignore the 10 centimeters that looms between them. A couple rookies come in and nearly wet themselves on the spot, fumbling through their greetings and Yoongi tries to remember when that happened, when he became someone others are nervous and star struck around.

He leaves and Chanyeol is right behind.

"Have you had one of them walk in on you while you're actually pissing?" Chanyeol says, falling into step. Yoongi shakes his head. "It's fucking awkward having someone bow at you while you're still holding your dick."

Yoongi snorts in amusement. They snake around the backstage handlers who ignore them completely. They don't care about idols. This is just their paycheck. "You ever see them again after?"

"Maybe," Chanyeol says. "I don't really pay attention to the faces in that situation."

They reach the end of the hallway. The screaming is deafening again. Yoongi wants to stay back here where the air conditioning seems to actually work and makes the frilled collar of his shirt marginally less itchy.

"Don't want people to think we're actually cordial to each other," Chanyeol says, dropping his hand on Yoongi's shoulder and squeezing. "I'll head out first."

Yoongi nods. "See you around." It's not a formality, they'll inevitably have another shared event later in the week.

The sudden lightness of his shoulder without Chanyeol's hand leaves him unbalanced.

+

Fame is hard. Fame in a society that publicly shames you for not being polite enough, thankful enough, obedient enough is psychologically draining. More than once Yoongi has thought about purposely getting caught smoking just to see how bad the response would be. But when he sees it happening to other people, he chickens out and holes himself up in his studio instead and writes lyrics that belie his need for acceptance and attention. They've only just arrived at the doorstep of the top and he will pretend to be anyone in order to stay.

"You're in here too much."

Namjoon is eating McDonald's take out and a carton of fries balances in his lap. One falls onto the floor. Yoongi pretends he doesn't see food littering his studio.

"Pot meet kettle."

"Okay, no." Namjoon crumbles up his burger wrapper and tosses it into the wastebasket. It misses. Yoongi doesn't pretend for that one and finds mild pleasure in watching Namjoon scramble across the room to fix it after a sharp glare. "When was the last time you saw sunlight?"

"Don't talk about me like I'm a fucking vampire."

"When."

"This morning."

"Watching the sun rise because you've stayed up all night doesn't count."

"The fuck it doesn't," Yoongi says, offended on basis of pure logic. "It's the sun and I saw it. That was your question."

Namjoon spots the dropped fry and, completely unaware of the five second rule, blows on it and puts it in his mouth. Yoongi closes his eyes. "Dude, we just finished two weeks of end of the year no sleep marathons. Can you chill out?"

Truly, Yoongi is happy that Namjoon has reached a place where he feels comfortable enough to relax. But winning their first _daesang_ has just left Yoongi more high strung. The company wants a repackage in February and an entire comeback in the fall. There's not enough time. At least not for anything that isn't garbage, which is all Yoongi has managed to produce lately.

"Stay away from this place for at least 24 hours," Namjoon says, grabbing Yoongi's phone and Yoongi's index finger to unlock it. "Hang out with other human beings."

"I can just call Hoseo—"

"Hoseok is a total pushover and you'll twist his arm to let you back in here in no time. You're not calling Hoseok."

"You're real annoying."

Namjoon keeps scrolling through Yoongi's contacts and shoots him an unsympathetic grin. "I love you too," he says, then scrunches his nose up in confusion. "You have Chanyeol's number? You talk to Chanyeol?"

"I talk to plenty of people," Yoongi says flatly. "If you don't want anyone fraternizing with the enemy, I'd start with Jimin and Taehyung first."

"No, just. I've never seen you say more than hello to him."

"I mean, we're not best friends or anything."

"What do you guys talk about?"

Yoongi shrugs and takes his phone back. Chanyeol's name is still at the top of the screen. "Stuff. It's hard to find people who understand, I don't know, crowds and shit." People he can complain to about how difficult it is to be famous, but that's too much of an asshole way to frame it.

Namjoon softens a bit. "Well, call him if you want," he says, standing up and stretching. "Anyone but Hoseok. Or Jimin. Or Jungkook. Or Taehyung. You can call Seokjin-hyung if you want. No, don't call Seokjin, you wouldn't even need to twist his arm, he'd just let you leave without saying a thing."

"I do have other friends," Yoongi says flatly. "I have an existence outside of this group."

"At least 24 hours," Namjoon says as he grabs his things and heads to the door. "Treat yourself."

Yoongi throws a stress ball at Namjoon and lets out a joyful noise when it bounces off Namjoon's head. "Leave the door open," he says, spinning back around in his chair. "Since you made this place reek of grease."

"If I find you here tomorrow, I'm throwing you out and changing the passcode."

" _Okay, mother._ "

He sinks another hour into a track that doesn't go anywhere before throwing in the towel. His phone beeps and Chanyeol's name flashes across the screen.

**chanyeol:** just got a weird message from namjoon???  
 **chanyeol:** help yoongi treat himself??  
 **yoongi:** that dick that's embarrassing  
 **chanyeol:** didn't know he had my number  
 **yoongi:** ignore him  
 **chanyeol:** he was joking? cause i'm actually free tomorrow

Yoongi doesn't know what compels him to follow this development of events.

**yoongi:** are you asking me out  
 **chanyeol:** now who's a dick  
 **chanyeol:** take it or leave it  
 **yoongi:** ok but you better not be boring  
 **chanyeol:** god you win 1 daesang and suddenly you have standards

The comment isn't that funny but Yoongi laughs about it for a good 30 seconds anyway.

+

"Hyung, you're heading out?"

Yoongi finds the pair of sneakers he wants in their sea of shoes lining the entryway. He slips them on. "Obviously."

Jungkook pauses his game. "With who? I thought Hoseok-hyung went out already."

"Am I useless without Hoseok to babysit me?"

Jungkook unpauses. "You're on the fast track to being an old man. If you don't have a chaperone, you might fall and break your hip."

Yoongi tugs his cap down further over his eyes and pulls a mask out of his pocket. "Fuck off, maknae."

In between two kills, Jungkook waves without looking. "Have fun, grandpa."

These days, it feels naked to step outside and not have the mask covering half his face. He pulls it up higher over his nose while simultaneously trying not to look like a suspicious character standing with his shoulders drawn in the corner of the lobby, dressed in all black.

It's frigid out and Yoongi can't remember why he agreed to this. His studio is warm and has snacks and there's a shower down the hall. A black Mercedes SUV pulls up and its passenger window rolls down. The driver peers at the building and then Yoongi's phone rings.

"Is that you standing there like a creep?"

"Is that you driving a car that overcompensates for your masculinity?"

Chanyeol laughs and it sounds deeper over the phone. "Asshole. Hurry up, it's cold."

The car is toasty with its heated leather seats. Chanyeol's enormous coat spills over the center console and Yoongi has to dig under it fasten his seatbelt.

It's weird being alone with Chanyeol. Like, actually alone. Chanyeol finicks with the heat and changes the satellite radio to something indie. Yoongi leaves his mask on for now.

"Where are we going?" Yoongi says, when Chanyeol stays quiet except for the lazy bobbing of his head to the song that's playing.

"My house."

"What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"I didn't know you were ready to introduce me to your parents."

"Fuck off," Chanyeol laughs. "No one's home right now, and I haven't seen my puppy in weeks."

Yoongi exposes his face when they get on the freeway, but leaves the hood of his coat up. If Namjoon finds out all he did today was tag along with Chanyeol to see his goddamn _puppy_ — but this is Namjoon's fault to begin with.

"Jesus." Yoongi rubs his eyes. "I hope we get caught and exposed in _Dispatch_."

"My sister knows someone who works there if you want to have some say in the optics."

Yoongi rolls his eyes and reclines his seat. "Wake me up when we get there," he says, closing his eyes. The warmth seeps into his bones and he dozes to Chanyeol harmonizing quietly with the radio.

+

Chanyeol's house is unassuming, another apartment in another high rise. Yoongi thinks about what it might be like to have his parents live close enough that he could visit for an afternoon whenever he has time. It'll never happen; his mother has no interest in Seoul.

The puppy is. Okay, it's cute. It's _tiny_ , smaller than his own dog back home. When Chanyeol picks it up, the poor thing looks like it's going to drown in the folds of his hoodie.

"Meet Toben."

And Yoongi is not smitten, he's not. Dogs are cute and Yoongi is only human. Chanyeol drops Toben into Yoongi's arms without warning and asks if he wants anything to drink while Yoongi's face gets attacked by Toben's tongue.

"I've got water and… homemade herbal tea."

Yoongi is drawn to something else. "Is that your studio?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sort of? The one in the dorm is my real one." Chanyeol enters the small room, an invitation for Yoongi to follow. "This place just has the basics."

There's a keyboard in the corner, a small mixer on the desk bookended by speakers, and a microphone on its own tripod. A guitar is propped up on the other side of the room. On the walls are a bunch of One Piece posters.

"You got any tracks on here?" Yoongi says, pointing at the closed laptop in the center.

Chanyeol scratches the back of his head. "I mean. Yeah. I sync everything online, but—"

"Can you play something?"

"Wow." Chanyeol laughs. "I'd be less nervous introducing you to my parents."

"You don't have to." Yoongi knows this shit can be personal. "Sorry. It's nice to see other people's work."

"No, it." Chanyeol sits down and boots up the computer. "I don't mind, I just have a lot of junk I've recorded."

Toben has relaxed and is close to dozing in the crook of Yoongi's elbow. It only takes a few scratches under the chin for him to close his eyes. For a second, Yoongi considers if Chanyeol would notice if his dog got stolen.

"I have lots of covers," Chanyeol says. He's flipping through a bunch of files and folders, too fast for Yoongi to see the names.

That's right, Yoongi forgets Chanyeol really is a singer who's been told to rap. He sits down and stops Chanyeol from scrolling, then points at the first title he recognizes. "Let's hear that one."

"That one isn't super great."

"Just play it."

The melody is familiar, but stripped down. Chanyeol's body language is a little nervous, his knees pressed together with his hands tucked under his thighs. He doesn't make eye contact with Yoongi. When Chanyeol's voice comes through the speakers, Yoongi is taken aback, but refrains from showing it physically. He's known for a while that Chanyeol sings, but never fully understood that Chanyeol can _sing_. When the track's over, he says, "Why the fuck are they making you rap?"

Chanyeol shrugs and clicks around at nothing in particular. "They needed another rapper for the group and I wanted to debut."

"Your talent is fucking wasted."

"Oh my god." Chanyeol presses both hands to his face briefly. It's amazing how small he can make himself seem. "No, I mean, they're giving me more vocal lines on the next album." He glances at Yoongi. "But uh, thanks."

Toben sneezes in his sleep. "Hey, I'm going to steal your dog."

"Cool, I'm going to have to kill you."

Yoongi shrugs. "Fair." He shoves Chanyeol's hand away from the trackpad. "Let me listen to another one."

+

 

It is much later than Yoongi had expected when he returns to the dorm. Sadly, he does not have a small black poodle with him. Namjoon exits the kitchen with a bottle of water, stops and stares at him.

"Did you just come back from being out? Were you out this whole time?"

"That's what you told me to do."

"Where'd you even go?"

Yoongi shrugs. "A friend's place."

Namjoon looks mildly surprised. "I didn't think you'd actually listen to me," he says, and pats Yoongi's shoulder as he walks by. "Proud of you, hyung."

"You have too many feelings, Kim Namjoon."

When Yoongi enters his room, Seokjin is watching a movie on his computer and lifts a hand half-heartedly in greeting. Yoongi falls onto his own bed and takes his phone out and scrolls through his notifications. He replies to a message from his parents and opens a webtoon his brother sent him.

Chanyeol's name slides across his screen before he finishes the first chapter. It's a photo of Chanyeol with Toben.

**chanyeol:** cutest puppy ever says good night!!  
 **yoongi:** wth is this  
 **chanyeol:** didn't want you to get separation anxiety  
 **yoongi:** are you really this sort of person

He finishes the webtoon and washes up for bed. Seokjin finishes his movie when Yoongi slips under the covers.

"Finish any tracks today?" Seokjin says.

Yoongi blinks. "I wasn't at the studio."

"Oh." Seokjin raises his eyebrows. "Okay. You were gone for a long time though."

Yoongi stares to say, _And?_

"No, good for you." Seokjin yawns and stretches his arms overhead, shuffling out of the room. "You finally look relaxed again."

Yoongi doesn't know what Seokjin means by 'again'. He's been fine. His phone beeps.

**chanyeol:** the sort of person considerate about your separation anxiety with my dog?  
 **chanyeol:** yah 100% you're welcome

He doesn't bother sending a reply, but does open the photo again. He supposes it's cute if he places his hand over Chanyeol's face and only looks at the dog.

**chanyeol:** aren't you gonna say good night back???  
 **yoongi:** no  
 **chanyeol:** :( ok

Yoongi tosses his phone to the side and closes his eyes. Seokjin comes back and Yoongi listens to him take forever settling into bed, thinks about the frownie face Chanyeol left him. Sighing, he rolls onto his stomach and takes back his phone.

**yoongi:** good night toben  
 **chanyeol:** :]

Conscience cleared, Yoongi passes out.

+

The repackage is fine. It's great, even. Yoongi gets his black hair back, which doesn't actually make his hair any healthier since he still has to dye it. But it's fine because they win lots of awards and media attention and everything is really, really good.

It's three in the morning and Yoongi is in the kitchen standing over a pot of water, waiting for it to boil so he can make ramen. His face will be bloated in the morning, but there's no schedule until the afternoon so who cares. His phone buzzes on the counter.

**chanyeol:** TOBEN IS 100 DAYS OLD!!!!

Lots of celebratory stickers follow and then a photo of a black poodle with a birthday hat hanging crookedly from its head while it sleeps in its owner's lap. Toben has visibly grown, but still looks like a tiny stuffed animal when Chanyeol is holding him.

**yoongi:** why are you bothering people at 3am  
 **chanyeol:** celebrating toben's bday is NOT a BOTHER  
 **chanyeol:** also jetlagged so  
 **chanyeol:** you're awake too

He's got Yoongi there. The water finally boils and Yoongi drops in two packets of ramen.

**yoongi:** ramen hour  
 **chanyeol:** :( jealous  
 **yoongi:** of ramen  
 **chanyeol:** yea… trying to get abs again  
 **yoongi:** abs are useless eat ramen  
 **chanyeol:** :(

Like a true veteran, Yoongi eats straight out of the pot. He grabs a couple of staple side dishes from the fridge and sets everything out on the dining table. He hesitates before digging in, shrugging to himself as he pulls his phone out to take a photo of the modest spread. A perfect composition of a steaming pot of noodles framed by egg rolls and kimchi under soft, dim lighting. He sends it off. The response comes barely five seconds later while he's still blowing on his first bite.

**chanyeol:** !!! this is fucking!!! torture!!  
 **chanyeol:** WOW you're sadistic  
 **yoongi:** >:]

He thinks Chanyeol has gone to bed like a semi-normal person, but as he's washing the dishes a very sad message comes through.

**chanyeol:** i ate an apple :(  
 **yoongi:** i'm sorry about your life  
 **chanyeol:** me too

The sun is starting to rise when Yoongi finally slips under the covers. It hits him that they haven't spoken since that day Chanyeol brought him to his house, but their interaction just now didn't even feel like two months had passed. Yoongi has never been the greatest at keeping in touch with people and spending most of his time locked in a studio or practice room only makes it harder.

It's nice that, for one person at least, the lack of regular communication doesn't make a difference.

+

The Idol Championships are terrible. An entire day of sitting around waiting for the chance to injure yourself for ratings. The only silver lining is that Yoongi can catch up with people he hasn't seen in months, but the last person he expects to see is Chanyeol. There's Sehun and Junmyeon too, but they don't stick out so stark the way Chanyeol does in a crowd.

Somehow, Chanyeol spots him too amongst the hundreds of bodies lingering on the arena floor, but they don't do more than nod to each other. At some point in the day, he sees Chanyeol talking to Jimin. When Jimin wanders back to the group, he wants to ask what they spoke about, but brushes it off as an unnecessary question.

Between participating in events and filming for clips and chatting with other groups, Yoongi doesn't see Chanyeol again. It isn't until they've gathered their belongings and are making their way to the vans in the basement parking garage that someone comes up and slings their arm heavy around Yoongi's shoulders.

"I forgot they let you have normal looking hair again."

Chanyeol is wearing an oversized sweater with the hood up. Yoongi still can't believe there exists clothes in the world that are baggy on him. "Could say the same for you."

"Yeah, 'cause I had a freak out about going bald," Chanyeol says, eyes wide. "Did you see the photos in the gossip articles?"

Yoongi stays quiet, which is to say he didn't.

"Anyway, Jimin said you guys didn't have schedules the rest of this week. You wanna come over?"

They arrive at EXO's van first. Junmyeon has already claimed shotgun and Sehun is climbing into the back. Chanyeol stands with his back to the door and slips his hands into his hoodie's pockets, waiting patiently.

"Come over where?" Yoongi says dumbly.

"Our dorm. Enemy territory."

"Oh. Uh."

"You don't have to," Chanyeol says, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. The skin under Yoongi's headband itches. "I guess you have plans already?"

Jimin walks past to their van and out the corner of his eye, Yoongi sees Jimin shoot him a grin he can't decipher. "No, I uh. I don't have anything. Was gonna maybe try and finish a demo."

Chanyeol shifts his weight onto his other foot and slaps Yoongi's shoulder almost hard enough to make Yoongi lose his balance. "Stop working and come hang out," he says and leans down to the passenger seat. "Hyung, Yoongi's going to come over this week."

Junmyeon hums absently. It doesn't quite sound like agreement or permission. Chanyeol climbs halfway into the van, his right leg stretched a mile long in front of Yoongi.

"I'll text you to figure out a day."

Chanyeol waves and then Yoongi is staring at a reflection of himself in an almost black tinted window.

"Hyung, let's go." Namjoon grabs Yoongi's elbow and pulls him along.

Yoongi looks over his shoulder and watches the other van pull away, not entirely sure why he's so dazed about what just happened.

+

Jimin comes into Yoongi's room after his shower. His hair is fluffy and bounces when he falls onto Yoongi's bed.

"So when are you going over to Chanyeol's?"

Yoongi pretends not to hear him and keeps editing lyrics on his laptop. Jimin is not so easily deterred and crawls up next to Yoongi, head propped on his hand, shit-eating grin on his face.

"Come on, hyung. Has he texted you yet?"

"What is this, gossip hour?" Yoongi takes the towel around Jimin's neck and covers Jimin's face with it. "Go away."

Jimin pulls the towel down and rolls his eyes. "All right, I get it. Keep it to yourself."

"Of course I'm going to keep my own conversations to myself," Yoongi mumbles, glancing at his phone. It's just out of habit, but there hasn't been any text from Chanyeol since they all left the arena a few hours ago either. Maybe it's run out of battery. Except it's plugged in.

Hours later, long after Jimin's left and Seokjin is snoring away softly on his side of the room, Yoongi opens up his thread with Chanyeol, where the last message is timestamped from 3 weeks ago. His thumbs hover over the keyboard.

**yoongi:** did you rescind your invite

It sounds casual enough and stays unread for the entire 10 seconds Yoongi stares at his phone afterward. He rolls his eyes at himself and shoves his phone away, feeling stupid. Chanyeol didn't say he'd text the same day and even if he had, schedules are unpredictable. Yoongi knows that first hand.

Still, when his phone buzzes a few minutes later, he previews the message in his notifications and forces himself to wait five minutes before actually opening it to respond.

**chanyeol:** sorry!!! got stuck at a photoshoot  
 **chanyeol:** come over thurs!!  
 **yoongi:** and do what  
 **chanyeol:** idk i recorded some more stuff  
 **chanyeol:** or just chill???  
 **chanyeol:** we'll figure it out  
 **chanyeol:** you coming?  
 **yoongi:** you don't have to beg  
 **chanyeol:** shut up lol see you thurs

Yoongi is, oddly, looking forward to it.

+

Calling it enemy territory is being dramatic, but also not entirely inaccurate. It feels weird to be stepping into the dorm of the group they compete with in the public eye. It's not like Yoongi's going to be harassed, he knows this. It's not rare for Jimin to hang out with Jongin and Taemin — everyone's friendly, it truly isn't just for show.

But he, personally, has traditionally not been the one crossing into this territory.

"Hey, hyung, you made it."

Sehun steps aside to let Yoongi in. They're in that weird spot where Yoongi is older, but Sehun debuted earlier, so he tips his head just a little in greeting.

"You should turn around and go back," Sehun says, leading Yoongi into the dorm. "Not that you're not welcome here, just that Chanyeol-hyung's been making a bunch of noise about you coming over for the past two days so you should be concerned about your overall safety."

"Shut up, Oh Sehun." Chanyeol's voice booms down the hall. Yoongi clears his throat so as to not laugh when Sehun points aggressively at the front door before Chanyeol appears. "Hey, you actually showed up."

Yoongi scratches the side of his neck. "Uh, I said I would."

Chanyeol grabs Yoongi's wrist and leads him down the hallway. His hand goes all the way around Yoongi's arm. "Technically, you never actually said yes. You just didn't say no to my assumption that you were."

The studio Chanyeol turns into looks ten times more legitimate than the one he saw at Chanyeol's home. The equipment is noticeably nicer and Yoongi stops himself from interrogating Chanyeol about how he finds the sound quality of the speakers. "Well, I'm here," Yoongi says, sitting down on the couch and picking up one of the EXO figurines on the shelf beside him. "Which one's supposed to be you?"

"What?" Chanyeol leans over Yoongi and grabs a different figurine, shoving it in Yoongi's face. "It's obviously this one."

Yoongi swaps it with the one in his hand. "When they're all the same height, I can't tell."

"Jerk." Chanyeol goes to sit in his chair, swiveling around to face Yoongi and stretching his legs out. His feet nearly reach Yoongi's. "Is my height all you notice about me?"

"How else does anyone know if it's you or not?"

"God, you're ruthless with the sarcasm."

Yoongi's gaze drops to the floor. "Sorry. Habit."

But Chanyeol laughs. "It's fine. I'm not shy about telling people what I don't like."

"So you just invite me here to fondle your doll or…?"

"You started doing that on your own."

"No, I started fondling that one on my own," Yoongi says, picking up the first one again. He realizes there's names on the back. "Baekhyun. You gave me yours."

"If Baekhyun were here, he'd be flattered." Chanyeol spins around and opens up some music files on his computer. "I uploaded another cover a couple weeks ago, you wanna listen?"

"Uh, I already heard it, I think."

Chanyeol looks over his shoulder, nose wrinkled. "What?"

"Don't Go Today, right?" Yoongi draws his legs onto the couch and sits pretzel style. "Someone linked me to your account."

"Oh." Chanyeol grins, smug. "I have a famous person who's my fan."

"Shut up."

"Well, that's five minutes we've gained back." Chanyeol rests his hands on his thighs. "Movie?"

Yoongi sits back. "What is this, a date?"

Chanyeol bites his bottom lip, then laughs and says, "Only if you want it to be." Before Yoongi can really process those words, Chanyeol gets up. "I'll make popcorn, have this be legit."

Left alone, Yoongi sits there confused. Would it be too outrageous to think that Chanyeol may actually be flirting with him? He should be able to tell after living with Jimin all these years, but Chanyeol is surprisingly difficult to read. He doesn't know Chanyeol well enough to sense what's a joke and what's real, or what's real but disguised as a joke.

Yoongi has rearranged all the EXO figurines in ascending order by the numbers on their jackets when Chanyeol shows up in the doorway with a giant bowl of popcorn. It smells like the salty sweet kind Yoongi likes.

"Come on, let's go to my room."

Right, because why would they watch a movie in the studio? Yoongi gets up and follows Chanyeol down the hall. No one else seems to be home.

"Yeah, Kyungsoo's never here these days," Chanyeol says when Yoongi asks about it. "If he doesn't have schedules with us, he's off doing some acting project. Jongin's at the company working with our choreographer on something. Honestly, I don't know where Baekhyun is. Everyone else lives downstairs, but Sehun likes to come up here because our TV is better."

There's nothing surprising about Chanyeol's room. There's a bookshelf half-filled with manhwa and more figurines. A guitar sits in the corner and his bed has a bunch of stuffed Rilakkumas that reminds him of Namjoon's bed. There's a bunch of clothes threatening to spill from the closet, the doors like a dam barely holding back a deluge. Overall, it's clean enough for a twenty-something year old.

Chanyeol places the popcorn on his desk and sets up his laptop on the end of the bed. "What do you want to watch?"

"Uh. You can decide. I'm not picky."

Yoongi doesn't see what Chanyeol ends up selecting. The beginning credits roll and Chanyeol shuffles up to sit against the headboard. He looks ridiculous surrounded by a sea of stuffed animals.

"Well, sit down," Chanyeol says, patting the spot next to him. This does feel like a date.

Right as Yoongi settles in, Chanyeol's upper body stretches over his lap to reach for the bowl of popcorn. He gets a strong whiff of cologne. It's okay, Yoongi might ask what brand it is later.

"So, what's been up with you?" Chanyeol says, setting the bowl in his own lap. "We haven't really talked for a few weeks."

Yoongi shrugs. He waits for the movie title to show, but. "Wait, is this — are you making us watch a nature documentary?"

"Yeah, Planet Earth II," Chanyeol says, completely serious. "It's fucking amazing."

Everything is confusing. "You seduce girls with this kind of material?"

"Uh, no," is all Chanyeol says, face blank.

Yoongi stares at the screen. There's Korean subtitles at the bottom, but honestly Yoongi's glasses prescription is a bit out of date and he doesn't feel like straining his eyes. "We had one of those freeway run-ins with some sasaengs last week," he says eventually.

"Ugh, I'm sorry." Chanyeol sounds like he means it. "Those are terrifying."

"Yeah." Yoongi tugs the ends of his sweater over his hands. "It's been happening for a while now, but I don't know."

"But it doesn't get less terrifying."

"Yeah."

Chanyeol squeezes Yoongi's arm briefly, then holds up the bowl. "So, this episode is about life in the mountains. I'm super excited."

Yoongi takes a handful of popcorn and eats some to keep from smiling at Chanyeol's enthusiasm over a nature documentary, even if it is Planet Earth II and fucking amazing.

+

"Okay, fine, that was fucking amazing."

Chanyeol jabs a fist in the air in victory. "Right? Honestly we should've watched it on the actual TV in the living room because the high definition is ri-di-cu-lous."

"But you wanted to be alone with me, I get it."

Chanyeol messes up the back of his hair. "Yeah, you caught me," he says quietly.

Yoongi taps his fingers against his thigh and chances a glance at Chanyeol, but Chanyeol is not looking at him. "Sorry, I shouldn't make jokes like that. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, no, no." Chanyeol waves his hands hurriedly. "I'm actually uh, trying to tell if I'm making you uncomfortable. I mean, I should probably just say it outright."

"I'm not really following this conversation."

"Are you into guys?"

Yoongi stares and lets out the breath he's holding slowly. "Oh, wow."

"I am," Chanyeol says, seemingly confident but Yoongi can tell he's looking at the wall behind Yoongi to avoid direct eye contact. "And I think you're attractive."

Yoongi rubs the side of his face, the face that he's just been told is attractive. He recognizes the chance Chanyeol is taking by admitting something like this, so the least he can do is be completely honest in return. "I'm...sometimes into guys, yeah," he says. The words come easier than he expected, for something he hasn't said outloud in years. "You're not too bad."

Chanyeol laughs, nervous. "Not too bad enough to make out with?"

"This is escalating very quickly," Yoongi says, but smiles so it's clear he doesn't really mind. "You don't have anyone here to do that with?"

Chanyeol wrinkles his nose and points at the door with his thumb. "Ew, what? These guys? I'd feel like I'm committing incest. You think about making out with Jimin?"

Yoongi scrunches up his nose. "Point taken."

Kissing Chanyeol is undeniably appealing. His lips look soft and honestly, he seems like someone who's kissed lots of people over the years, who knows how to do it well. Yoongi has to think hard to remember when was the last time he even looked at someone else intimately. He's gotten so used to his right hand he hasn't realized how long it's been.

"You're staring at my mouth."

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "You're letting me stare at your mouth."

"That's true," Chanyeol says, raising his hand between them. They both watch as it moves closer to Yoongi, tentatively settling against Yoongi's face.

"Why is your hand massive?"

Chanyeol head falls against Yoongi's shoulder when he laughs. "You know what they say about big hands."

"Yeah, big feet," Yoongi says flatly. He'd play footsie with Chanyeol to tease further, but he can't reach without moving. That's irritating.

Chanyeol's thumb drifts across Yoongi's bottom lip, surprisingly gentle. It's the only warning Yoongi gets before Chanyeol kisses him. It's hesitant and soft, but not weird the way Yoongi realizes he thought it might be. Chanyeol's lips part just enough to fit Yoongi's top lip between them, then switches to the bottom and Yoongi fights the embarrassing noise crawling up his throat. Kissing Chanyeol is exactly as Yoongi imagined. It's heady and addictive and Yoongi feels like he's sinking into a cloud, grabbing onto Chanyeol's shirt to anchor himself.

There's no urge to protest when Chanyeol pulls him onto his lap. The growing want running through him threatens to overwhelm, but not enough to want to slow down much less stop. Yoongi sinks his hands into Chanyeol's hair, runs them down the back of Chanyeol's neck and over his broad shoulders. When they break apart, equally breathless, Chanyeol is grinning and god, Yoongi _wants_.

He takes off his sweater first and doesn't miss Chanyeol's brows quirk in surprise. But Chanyeol's hands go right to Yoongi's waist, bunching the fabric of his thin, white t-shirt before allowing one hand to slip under and touch his skin directly. Chanyeol's large hands are — they're good. They're almost too warm against his skin, but the way they grip him and hold him in place sparks something. It's obvious Chanyeol could manhandle him if he wanted; Yoongi isn't into that, but the possibility of it, the idea of it, that he is very much into.

Yoongi tilts Chanyeol's chin up and like a switch, Chanyeol tugs him in closer. Suddenly, the thick hoodie Chanyeol has on is very irritating. He presses their mouths together again, leading this time, eager to see the way Chanyeol yields under him. The first, teasing brush of Chanyeol's tongue against his is electrifying. He grows bolder and moans quietly into Chanyeol's mouth and is all too satisfied at the tightening of Chanyeol's hands on his waist in response.

"Take off this stupid sweatshirt," Yoongi says, pulling at Chanyeol's collar.

"Yeah, okay," Chanyeol mumbles, quickly tugging off his hoodie. He's a bit clumsy about it, getting his head stuck briefly, but Yoongi is too impatient to kiss him again to tease about it.

Chanyeol's shoulders are broader than Yoongi expected. He slides his hands down Chanyeol's back and feels how the muscles flex when Chanyeol leans into him.

"Shit, you still working out?" Yoongi says, trying to sound casual and not affected by the idea of Chanyeol with firm, lean muscles. With abs. He gets caught.

Chanyeol grins. "You wanna see?"

If he's already caught, then what does it matter? "Fine, come on," he says, leaning back and pulling on Chanyeol's t-shirt. The payoff is worth it. "Christ, I can't believe you hide this under the tents you call clothes." He knows Chanyeol's already a little narcissistic, that his comments are going to make Chanyeol unbearable, but Chanyeol fucking has pecs and an actual six pack and Yoongi's never had the desire to hang off of someone's bicep, but he sure has that urge now.

"I guess to keep from being so irresistible to people like you."

"Shut up," Yoongi says and follows through by shoving his tongue into Chanyeol's mouth.

They kiss until Yoongi's lips feel raw and he can't ignore the growing problem between his legs. His own t-shirt has come off somewhere along the way and he'd feel a little self-conscious about his scrawny frame, except for the downright hungry way Chanyeol is touching him.

"I know I only asked about making out," Chanyeol says, kissing down to Yoongi's collarbone. Yoongi hopes he doesn't suck a mark somewhere that can't be easily hidden. "But I'm pretty open to other things."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"If you wanted to use my thigh or my hands," Chanyeol says. He flicks both thumbs over Yoongi's nipples. "My mouth."

"Fuck." Yoongi is very much open to those things too. "Just one of them?"

"Greedy," Chanyeol says, already unbuttoning Yoongi's jeans. "You can have more than one if I get to pick."

There's nothing shy about the way Chanyeol's hand slides into Yoongi's underwear to take him in his hand. Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut and thinks about Bang PD in a speedo and Namjoon cutting his toenails, anything to keep from finishing too fast. Someone else touching him is world's different than when he jerks off on his own and Chanyeol's hands are rough in all the right places. It's manageable until Chanyeol latches his mouth onto Yoongi's nipple, teasing with his tongue, and Yoongi is overrun by how sensitive he is there. He grabs Chanyeol's hair tightly and thrusts into Chanyeol's hand only a few times before he comes, lips pressed together tightly to keep quiet.

Coming down, Yoongi flops onto his side, boneless, and watches Chanyeol clean off his hand with his t-shirt. "That's yours, right?"

"The shirt's mine, the mess is yours."

Yoongi retorts not with words but by reaching over and cupping Chanyeol through his pants. Kneeling up, he takes a fistful of Chanyeol's hair and shoves his hand into Chanyeol's briefs. Chanyeol's hard as a rock and his skin is hot to the touch. Yoongi pulls Chanyeol's head back, kisses him slow and filthy until Chanyeol's body seizes up and he spills into Yoongi's hand.

Yoongi grabs Chanyeol's shirt. "Now the mess is yours too."

Chanyeol covers his face and barks out a laugh.

+

Not surprisingly, things change a little between them after that. Chanyeol invites him over more frequently, makes him watch the rest of Planet Earth II, and sometimes they play games with Baekhyun or Sehun, inviting Jungkook online if he's not doing anything in the Bangtan dorm.

"Why the hell is Jungkook so good?" Baekhyun says after a game where they crush the other team. "Can he join us permanently?"

"He's good at everything," Yoongi says, mumbling a thanks when Chanyeol returns from the kitchen and hands him a bottle of water. "It's fine in these situations, but annoying when the person he's one-upping is you."

"Hey, where's my water?" Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol shrugs. "In the fridge?"

"Asshole," Baekhyun mutters on his way to the kitchen. "Only being polite to Yoongi."

"He's the guest!" Chanyeol yells after him.

More often than not, the visits end with them naked in Chanyeol's bed. Yoongi's learned how useful Chanyeol's mouth can really be and that Chanyeol really likes his fingers. It's fun and Yoongi has been less stressed lately having this outlet. The sex is great, but sex is not something Yoongi has historically considered _funny_ , yet he finds he laughs a lot when he's with Chanyeol, even in the moments before one of them gets their mouth on the other one's dick. Sometimes even during, but they try to avoid that so there's no accidents with teeth.

When their schedules don't allow them to meet up, Chanyeol blows up his phone with messages and random photos. He basically gets an hour by hour breakdown of Chanyeol's day with smatterings of updates on the other members. Yoongi is amassing a collection of various EXO members in bodybuilder poses, which he supposed he saves for future blackmail purposes.

"Hyung, can you stop talking to your boyfriend and tell Taehyung that you can't fold a piece of paper more than seven times?"

Yoongi looks up from his phone. Jimin and Taehyung are sitting on the floor playing Go Stop. "What?"

"You can't fold a piece of paper more than seven times."

"No, before that."

Jimin rubs his temples when Taehyung wins again. He crinkles his nose, thinking. "Stop talking to your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

Jimin and Taehyung share a look. It says they wonder if Yoongi is okay. "Yes, you do," Taehyung says, slowly, like he's waiting for Yoongi to suddenly remember this fact.

When he doesn't, Jimin says, "Chanyeol?"

Yoongi actually laughs. "What?"

"You've been going over to their dorms like, every week," Jimin says.

"That doesn't mean we're _dating_ ," Yoongi says, still amused. He goes back to reading a webtoon. "We just mess around sometimes. Friends with benefits." In his periphery, Jimin and Taehyung share another look.

"Chanyeol knows that?" Jimin says.

Yoongi snorts. "Yeah, of course. He started it."

Speaking of, he gets a text from Chanyeol just then asking if he has anything planned for Thursday night. Yoongi says he has to wash his hair.

**chanyeol:** asshole  
 **chanyeol:** wash your dried out hair here  
 **chanyeol:** thurs is cheat day i'm gonna order chicken and pizza  
 **yoongi:** i'm not fucking you after you gorge on fried chicken and pizza  
 **chanyeol:** we'll see about that

Yoongi rolls his eyes and double checks their schedule for Thursday. They have some things in the morning, but the evening is blessedly open. The timing works out. He hasn't been over to Chanyeol's in over a week and trying to be quiet jerking it while Seokjin is five feet away isn't really relaxing.

Plus, he can't wait to see the look on Chanyeol's face when he tells him people think they're dating.

+

"You look disgusting."

Chanyeol hits his chest a few times and lets out a burp, then sighs and closes his eyes, getting comfortable where he's lying down on the couch. Yoongi grimaces and drops a bottle of water on Chanyeol's chest. "You're so mean to me."

Yoongi starts cleaning up the food cartons, rolling his eyes when Chanyeol moans pathetically from the couch.

"Hey," Chanyeol says, reaching out and catching Yoongi's calf when he returns from the kitchen. "I know you were just making jokes when we talked a few days ago, but." He stops and bites his bottom lip. Yoongi looms over him, arms crossed. He has the patience to wait, a part of him liking the way Chanyeol is squirming. "You actually wanna fuck me?"

Yoongi's stomach does flips picturing it, but he says, "Shouldn't you make yourself look a little more attractive before you ask me that?"

"Whatever, you already want me and my ripped body."

"Oh my god, shut up. Just because I licked your abs that _one time_ when we were drunk."

Chanyeol laughs. "You _worshipped_ them."

"I was inebriated and my standards were nonexistent."

Chanyeol sits up and presses his face to Yoongi's waist. His hands dive under Yoongi's shirt, pushing it up until he can mouth at the skin of Yoongi's stomach, right along the waistband of his jeans.

"What are you doing?" Yoongi hisses, trying to pull away, but Chanyeol's grip is surprisingly firm. Stupid muscles. "Someone could see us!"

"Baekhyun's the only one home and he's playing League of Legends in his room," Chanyeol says, then attaches his lips over a vein by Yoongi's hipbone, trailing his palms up and down along the back of Yoongi's thighs while he sucks lazily, until there's a deep red mark blooming stark against Yoongi's pale skin.

Yoongi is surprised that he's half hard just from that. He runs his hand through Chanyeol's hair a few times and fights to keep his eyes open when Chanyeol rubs his face against his growing erection through his pants.

"Fuck, we're not doing this here," Yoongi says, grabbing Chanyeol's arms and unwinding them from his waist. "Your room, now."

Chanyeol grins and stands, linking his fingers with Yoongi's and dragging them down the hall. They can hear Baekhyun yelling at his computer when they pass his room. It's not nearly enough to kill Yoongi's boner, especially when Chanyeol has him up against the door the second it's closed behind them, their mouths colliding messily with too much tongue. Chanyeol's hands — those stupid, large, calloused hands — slide under Yoongi's shirt again and Yoongi gasps when Chanyeol tugs a little too hard on his nipples, chest arching forward.

"Stop, stop, stop," Yoongi mumbles, a difficult thing to do when Chanyeol's got one thigh between Yoongi's legs and is heavily encouraging him to ride it. " _Fuck_ , get on the bed."

Chanyeol steals another kiss before letting Yoongi shove him back and they stumble the few steps to the bed, Chanyeol falling onto it. Immediately, Yoongi strips him of his pants and underwear and it's hilarious to see Chanyeol naked only from the waist down, but weirdly, also a little bit hot. Yoongi takes Chanyeol's dick in his hand and strokes him a few times, liking to feel the weight of it in his hand. Sliding to his knees, Yoongi tugs Chanyeol's hips to the edge of the bed and sucks the tip of Chanyeol's cock into his mouth. His rare, past experiences sucking someone off weren't the most enjoyable, but with Chanyeol it's been better. There's no fucking his mouth or even pressuring him to deepthroat. The most Chanyeol ever does is rest a hand against the back of Yoongi's head as he whines pitifully each time Yoongi flicks his tongue against the sensitive underside of the head.

Annoyingly, Chanyeol does meet the big hands, big feet stereotype. His dick isn't massive by any means, but it's longer and thicker than any Yoongi has touched in the past. It means Yoongi can't get his mouth comfortably around more than a few inches, but what he can fit seems to be what Chanyeol enjoys the most anyway. He pulls his mouth away and keeps stroking Chanyeol while he reaches over to grab the lube from the nightstand. Chanyeol doesn't bother to store it out of view anymore.

They've used it just for handjobs and when Chanyeol asks Yoongi to finger him. Yoongi's never really thought about when they might use it for one of them putting their dick in the other, figuring their casual fooling around had unspoken limitations. But if Chanyeol is asking for this, he isn't going to say no.

Yoongi crawls back onto the bed and runs his palm up the inside of Chanyeol's thigh to get him to come around.

"I've seen photos of your parents and it makes no sense you're this tall," Yoongi says, when Chanyeol nearly kicks him in the face. "Are you sure you're not adopted?"

"Shut up, you're just jealous you never hit 180."

Yoongi pinches Chanyeol's hip. He takes a second to admire Chanyeol laid out so nicely for him, chest a little flushed where it's peeking out from his collar, legs bent and giving Yoongi an almost obscene view of his cock curved over his stomach, his balls hanging heavy. Yoongi reaches forward and presses two dry fingers between Chanyeol's asscheeks and his throat closes up just watching Chanyeol spread his legs wider.

"Beautiful," Yoongi can't help but say, flushing a little just in response to Chanyeol growing shy at his remark. He scoots closer and pulls Chanyeol's hips onto his lap, not missing the way Chanyeol's shirt bunches up, revealing more of his stomach.

Yoongi squeezes some lube on his fingers and then a bit onto Chanyeol's cock, grinning when Chanyeol lets out a tiny noise at the cold.

"Be considerate and warm it up next time," Chanyeol says, quickly quieting when Yoongi starts stroking him firmly. It doesn't last long when Yoongi starts circling his thumb around the head, the lube and precome mixing, and Chanyeol's breath hitches each time Yoongi passes over the frenulum.

"I'm so considerate," Yoongi says, taking his other fingers and warming them up first before slipping lower to circle Chanyeol's hole, pressing but not pushing inside.

"You're a fucking tease," Chanyeol groans, arching his head back. "Come _on_ , you've put your fingers in me before."

Yoongi swallows and pushes Chanyeol's cock flat and rubs his palm along the underside. He pushes two fingers in steadily, impressed as always at the easy way Chanyeol's body opens up for him. Chanyeol seems to relax more the deeper Yoongi goes, at least until Yoongi curls his fingers.

"Shit, why are you so fucking accurate," Chanyeol says, pulling his legs back and fuck, Yoongi is not prepared enough for the sight. "Another. Please, I'm not going to break."

The 'please' is what does it. Yoongi can't tease when Chanyeol asks so nicely. He adds more lube and slides a third finger in and bites back a moan when Chanyeol practically sucks him in.

"Yeah, that's good," Chanyeol says. His eyes are closed and the tip of his tongue peeks out, curled over his top lip. Yoongi wants desperately to be inside him. And to take a picture of him.

For now, Yoongi does neither. Instead he hunches over the best he can and brings Chanyeol's cock to his mouth again, only flexible enough to take the first couple inches in. The way Chanyeol squeezes around him just from his mouth is almost unbearable, though he wonders how much Chanyeol is doing on purpose. Still, he focuses on this for a while, the drag of Chanyeol's cock over his tongue, the way Chanyeol clenches around his fingers, unwilling to let go.

"When are you going to fuck me?" Chanyeol says, whining a little. One of his hands fall to rest on Yoongi's head. "Tease another day."

Usually Yoongi isn't even that big on giving oral, but today, well. "You taste good," he says, and presses the tip of his tongue to Chanyeol's slit as if to further drive his point across.

"F- _uck_ ," Chanyeol gasps, very obviously trying not to yank on Yoongi's hair. "You're killing me. I can't believe it's this hard to get your dick in my ass." He looks down, then drops his head back again with a frustrated noise. "Oh my god, you're not even anywhere near naked."

Yoongi laughs a little at Chanyeol's suffering. He slips away and stands at the side of the bed, waiting for Chanyeol to look at him before he starts ridding himself of his clothes. Once Yoongi's naked, Chanyeol rolls over, propped on one elbow, and takes Yoongi into his mouth. Yoongi holds back a comment about Chanyeol being so pushy about what he wanted from Yoongi just a minute ago, opting instead to fuck Chanyeol's mouth lazily, his hand held firm against the back of Chanyeol's neck.

"There you go," Yoongi says, thumb rubbing behind Chanyeol's ear. He goes a little deeper, but careful not to choke. "You look so nice." There's only a few months age difference between them, but still Yoongi would never speak to Chanyeol like this outside of sex. But during, the words slip out naturally and Chanyeol always reacts so well, practically preening under Yoongi's compliments. It's a gift to see.

Yoongi digs around the nightstand for a condom, ripping it open with his teeth. He nudges Chanyeol away and rolls it on, says, "How do you want to do this?" and licks his lips at the sight of Chanyeol moving onto all fours. "Yeah, that'll do."

Chanyeol is uncharacteristically quiet as Yoongi settles in behind him, head resting on his arms. Yoongi smooths his palms over Chanyeol's ass, squeezing and spreading his cheeks. The tip of his cock drags over Chanyeol's hole and he feels a small tremble echo through Chanyeol's body. He'd question if Chanyeol even wants this if not for the way Chanyeol presses back and spreads his knees wider, the rest of his body language open and pliant.

The moment Yoongi pushes in, his breath leaves him. Chanyeol is warm and tight and Yoongi sinks into him so easily, like Chanyeol's body was waiting just for his dick, which sounds so ridiculous and conceited, but as Yoongi's hips come to rest against Chanyeol's ass, it's the only thing Yoongi can compare it to.

Below, Chanyeol is moaning low and quiet, forehead touching the bed. Yoongi gives a few shallow thrusts, eyes laser focused on Chanyeol's rim stretched around him. It's his own cock, but he still gets that feeling of seeing something he shouldn't be, the drag of Chanyeol's hole around him obscene.

"Can I move?" Yoongi says, his voice coming out more uneven than he expected.

"Yeah," Chanyeol says, nodding. "Fuck me."

The moment Yoongi draws his hips back, he knows this isn't going to last long. He swears it's one of the hardest things he's ever had to do, to not push Chanyeol down and fuck him right into the mattress. He digs his fingers into Chanyeol's hips instead and rocks his hips, moaning quietly.

There's nothing but the sounds of skin hitting skin, of Chanyeol's tiny whines when Yoongi's rhythm falters a little and he goes deeper than usual, of Yoongi biting back moans because Chanyeol is spread out under him taking it _so good_.

After a bit, Chanyeol pushes himself up, forcing Yoongi to sit back, knees folded under. Chanyeol finally tugs his shirt off, throwing it against the wall before he plants both hands on the bed again and starts riding Yoongi, head hung low. Yoongi lets out a weak whine, head falling between Chanyeol's shoulder blades, and trails his palms up and down Chanyeol's sides, letting Chanyeol go at his own pace.

"You're so fucking hot right now," Yoongi says, mesmerized by the way Chanyeol's back muscles flex as he moves. "Feels better like this?"

Chanyeol laughs breathlessly. "Almost," he says, arching his back a little and gasping. "Fuck, now it's better. Oh my _god_." He rides Yoongi faster, squeezing around him, slamming his hips down and grinding back and Yoongi digs his nails into his own thighs, the dull pain providing little distraction, breath held and body tense.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me come," Yoongi says, feeling his balls tighten at the sight of Chanyeol stilling for a moment, eyes rolling back as he keeps Yoongi's dick pressed up where it is. "That's it, _get it_."

"Touch me," Chanyeol says, breathing hard as he rolls his hips again, reaching back hurriedly for Yoongi's hand. "M'so close."

Immediately, Yoongi wraps his hand around Chanyeol's cock and jerks him off with long, firm strokes. It's insane how he can actually feel Chanyeol's orgasm build. The way Chanyeol tightens around him is sharper, more instinctive.

"Come on," Yoongi says, leaving a trail of lazy, wet kisses over Chanyeol's shoulder. "You're so fucking hard, it's going to feel so good."

Chanyeol makes a wounded-like noise and exhales loudly, shaky, coming into Yoongi's hand. He clamps down around Yoongi for those few seconds and Yoongi wraps his other arm around Chanyeol, grunting quietly as he drives his hips up until that tension in his gut snaps and he buries himself balls deep, clinging to Chanyeol when he comes and it knocks the breath out of him.

It's Yoongi who pulls away first, easing Chanyeol forward to let his cock slip out. He takes his time cleaning up, grabbing Chanyeol's shirt since it's the closest to wipe them down. His legs feel a little shaky when he walks across the room to throw away the condom, but the rest of him is buzzing, a deep satisfaction settling in him from such a good fuck. On the bed, Chanyeol is still kneeling there, looking a little dazed. Yoongi perches one knee on the mattress and tilts Chanyeol's head up for a kiss, slow and filthy, pressing his tongue past Chanyeol's lips.

Yoongi tugs on Chanyeol's bottom lip with his teeth as he draws back, grinning at how Chanyeol instinctively follows him. "That was fucking amazing," he says, shoving his bangs back to let some air run through his sweat damp hair. "We're disgusting though and should shower."

Chanyeol shakes his head and finally moves, pulling Yoongi to lie down. He proceeds to curl up and tangles their legs together, one heavy arm thrown over Yoongi's chest. Yoongi sighs and goes with it. Chanyeol is nothing if not touchy and affectionate, even moreso after they sleep together.

"Hey," Yoongi says, suddenly remembering. He's already laughing a little. "Guess what Jimin and Taehyung told me this weekend."

Chanyeol gives a quiet, absent hum.

"They called you my boyfriend," Yoongi says, and when Chanyeol looks at him in confusion, "They think we're _actually_ dating."

Chanyeol still doesn't say anything. When Yoongi fears he's the one in the wrong, Chanyeol lets out a brief laugh and pushes himself up. "They've never heard of friends with benefits?" he says, messing up his hair. "It's cute, that they're so romantic."

Yoongi chuckles. "I know."

"I think I do need that shower," Chanyeol says, scooting down. He sits at the foot of the bed for a couple seconds, seeming like he wants to say something else, but just stands and pulls on his discarded underwear, leaving the room.

Yoongi finds his pants and digs out his phone. There's a few messages he reads through and ignores. There's a bunch in the member group chat of Hoseok trying to find someone to grab dinner with him. He almost texts Jimin and Taehyung to say that Chanyeol thought the idea of them dating was amusing too, but doesn't want to come off making this whole thing sound like a big deal.

Chanyeol returns and hands Yoongi a new towel wordlessly. Yoongi sits up and stretches. He takes the towel as he stands and loops his other arm around Chanyeol's waist, leaving a lazy kiss against Chanyeol's shoulder. Chanyeol tenses under him.

"You okay?"

Chanyeol nods. "Your lips are a bit chapped."

Yoongi thumbs his mouth. "Sucked your dick too good, I guess," he says and squeezes Chanyeol's waist as he leaves the room.

After his shower, Yoongi hears Baekhyun still yelling at the game he's playing, but what's mildly surprising is the fact that he also hears Jungkook's name. Yoongi smiles to himself. It's nice that Jungkook's making some more hyung friends.

Chanyeol is sitting on the bed staring off into space when Yoongi walks in. Yoongi takes his towel and spins it, whipping it in the air, but Chanyeol doesn't even startle. "Stop acting like you're still fucked stupid," he says, sitting down next to him. "You don't need to flatter me that much."

When Chanyeol looks at him, for a moment it's like he doesn't even realize Yoongi is there. He blinks and scratches the back of his head. "Hey, uh. I forgot we actually have an early schedule tomorrow," he says, gathering Yoongi's clothes from the floor and holding them out. "I have to make you leave. Sorry."

"Oh." Yoongi takes his clothes. "No, it's cool." It's silent between them while he gets dressed. "You guys getting busy soon?"

"Yeah," Chanyeol says, bouncing his knee. "Comeback plans getting finalized, so. Might not be free for a while."

"I get it." Yoongi picks up his phone and calls for a taxi. "Guess I'll have to get used to my right hand again."

Chanyeol gives a stiff smile. "Sorry."

"Quit apologizing. You're making me uncomfortable." Yoongi pockets his phone and picks up his snapback. "Well, if you randomly have free time in your schedule, let me know."

"Yeah," Chanyeol says, standing up and swinging his hands back and forth. "Yeah."

Yoongi starts to leave, but turns back. "You sure you're okay?"

Chanyeol nods. "Just got tired suddenly," he says.

At the door, they don't say much. Yoongi slips his cap on and pulls it over his eyes. "Hey, there's a track I've been working on that hasn't been sounding quite right. I usually ask Namjoon or someone for a second opinion, but you mind if I send it to you too?"

"Of course, yeah," Chanyeol says, biting his lip. "I mean, I don't know how much help I'll be since you're already really good, but sure."

Yoongi shoves at Chanyeol's shoulder lightly. "Shut up. Your stuff is fucking good too."

Chanyeol shrugs, but gives a small smile that finally looks genuine. "Thanks."

In the lobby, Yoongi shoves his hands into his pockets and thumbs at the face mask he shoved in there earlier. He thinks about putting it on, but it'd only make him obvious bait for the paparazzi. It's a twenty minute taxi ride back and in the middle of it, he gets a text from Jungkook.

**jungkook:** hyung were you at chanyeol's?  
 **yoongi:** yeah why

But Jungkook never answers him and by the time Yoongi arrives back the dorm, he's already brushed it off.

+

Chanyeol stops texting Yoongi.

Yoongi had sent over a couple tracks to Chanyeol the day after they last saw each other and the last thing he'd received was a brief acknowledgment and warning that it might be a while before he has time to listen.

That was almost two weeks ago. Chanyeol's never let a single day pass without sending him something, even if it's a text at four in the morning that's a bunch of sleepy face emojis.

Yoongi's sent a few messages casually asking what Chanyeol's been up to, but all of them have remained unread. He thinks about actually calling, but talks himself out of it each time. It's public knowledge now that EXO's comeback is soon. Yoongi knows the weeks leading up to one is a mindless haze of 16 to 18 hour days, so the radio silence isn't completely surprising. But it is unexpected and Yoongi hadn't realized just how much of his day had revolved around conversations with Chanyeol until they stopped.

Other weird things start happening too, though he can't tell if he's just imagining them. But Jungkook seems skittish around him suddenly and the other day when he entered the kitchen, Jimin and Taehyung stopped talking and left the room. It feels strange to say he's being frozen out, but that's what it seems like, though he still doesn't have definitive proof.

When two weeks turns into a month, Yoongi stops thinking everything is just coincidence.

At the end of a group meeting, he forces the three youngest to stay behind.

"Spill," he says, mildly amused at how they avoid eye contact with him. "Why the fuck are you pissed at me?"

Jungkook squirms the most, eyes darting over at the other two. Taehyung stares steadfast at the floor and Jimin just crosses his arms.

"We're not pissed at you, hyung," Jimin says.

"That is some fucking bullshit." Yoongi prods Jimin's leg with his foot. "We've been living together how long? I must be stupid not to recognize when you're upset."

Jungkook leans forward. "Maybe we should tell him," he says quietly, but shuts up just as quickly when Jimin glares at him.

"Tell me what."

No one answers him. This isn't going to work. Yoongi goes for the weakest and leans in close to Taehyung. He doesn't even say anything, just takes Taehyung's chin between his thumb and index and forces him to look straight.

"It's about Chanyeol," Taehyung blurts out. Jimin groans and covers Taehyung's mouth.

Yoongi frowns. "You're pissed at me because of him?"

"It's not our place to say," Jimin says, sighing. "Talk to Chanyeol."

"I can't." It actually feels a bit shameful for Yoongi to admit. "I think he's ignoring me."

The three of him suddenly look at him with pity and Yoongi can't stand it.

"They have a comeback," Yoongi says, his shoulders tensing. "We have one soon too. People don't have time for anything."

"Yeah, so just try when he's less busy," Jungkook offers.

Less busy means waiting for another few weeks. It means when EXO is done with their schedule, Yoongi is in the middle of their own preparations and doesn't know anything except unending hours of practice, practice, practice. Before he realizes it, the year is almost over and he hasn't spoken to Chanyeol for almost six months.

The first time he even sees Chanyeol it's across the room at the first major award show of the season. He finds himself trying to catch Chanyeol's eye, but Chanyeol doesn't look over at their table — or even their side of the room — not even once.

He'd march over there, but this isn't a drama and he's allergic to making a scene. He does take out his phone and send a message.

**yoongi:** will you please look at me  
 **yoongi:** hyung

Twenty feet away, Chanyeol doesn't even move.

+

A couple of rookies are leaving the restroom when Yoongi walks in. He acknowledges them with a wave, a habitual response now, and does his business. He's washing his hands when he hears familiar voices and looks up in the mirror to see Baekhyun and Sehun standing there staring back at him.

The shift in Baekhyun's expression is terrifying.

Yoongi bows slightly and dries his hands, winding around them to leave. He's reaching out for the door when Baekhyun speaks.

"Are you even fucking sorry?"

"Hyung, come on, don't," Sehun says quietly. Yoongi turns around and sees Sehun with both hands on Baekhyun's arm.

"Excuse me?" Yoongi says slowly. "Sorry for what?"

Sehun winces and gives Yoongi a pleading look.

"For _what_?" Baekhyun crowds into Yoongi's space. "You're really going to stand there and act like you don't fucking know what you did to Chanyeol."

"I don't!" Yoongi covers his face and takes a deep breath. Baekhyun looks caught off-guard. "I don't know what I did to him. I've been trying to find out because it seems like everyone else does know but no one will fucking _tell me_."

"You—" Baekhyun starts, pressing his lips together. His eyes narrow, clearly trying to decide if Yoongi is speaking the truth. "He really liked you."

"Well, he isn't even talking to me so it doesn't matter."

"He thought you guys were dating," says Baekhyun. "But you told him you were just fuck buddies."

Yoongi doesn't know how to react. He's barely processing the words, trying to tamp down on the rush of anger he unexpectedly feels learning that he's spent a good half year anxiety-ridden because of a fucking miscommunication. That everyone's been treating him like he purposely set out to be a bad guy like he's supposed to fucking read minds. He hadn't realized how hurt he's felt this whole time and balls his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms, to keep it off his face.

"Tell Chanyeol-hyung to fucking talk to me again," Yoongi says, rushing his words so his voice doesn't tremble. "Tell him to fucking reply to the fucking hundred texts I've sent him that he's fucking ignored."

"You've been trying to reach him?" Sehun says hesitantly. Baekhyun looks guilty.

Yoongi scoffs, a choked laugh leaving him, and rubs his face. "I can't do this, you guys tell him whatever you want," he says, and leaves quickly before he can admit everything, like how increasingly desperate his texts have been, how some of them have come close to sounding like begging.

He wanders aimlessly in the halls until he finds an abandoned corner where the lights don't quite reach and crouches down, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. He's ruining the eye makeup his stylist meticulously applied earlier, but can't be bothered to care. All he can think about is the last conversation he had with Chanyeol, how it seems so obvious now that Chanyeol had gotten upset after Yoongi had brought up the boyfriends thing. He's mad at Chanyeol for not speaking up, mad at his members for insisting on staying out of it, but mad at himself too because he should've seen it, he _should've_ , and avoided this mess to begin with.

Already gone too long, he forces himself to return to the audience, avoiding the concerned looks Namjoon and Seokjin give him. He watches EXO go up to receive an award and claps politely.

Counts down the minutes until this ends and he can go home and curl up under his covers and pretend he doesn't ever have to show his face again.

+

Jimin is nice to Yoongi again.

He was never outright mean, just gave Yoongi the cold shoulder for a couple months straight. But now he's willingly touching Yoongi again, hugging him and cuddling in front of the TV, his silent way of apologizing. Yoongi is too tired to stay angry at anyone except for himself.

Jimin tries to talk to him about Chanyeol, but Yoongi shuts it down each time. He's still heard nothing from Chanyeol and tries not to show how much it guts him. Chanyeol must know by now that it was a misunderstanding, or maybe Baekhyun and Sehun didn't bother saying anything even after the confrontation. He doesn't care anymore.

Or he pretends he doesn't because he hates that half a year later, he's still stuck on how much he misses being around Chanyeol.

Tonight he's really out of it, an unproductive day in the studio combined with the shitty mood he's perpetually been in culminating in him drinking alone in the kitchen. He's such a fucking eyesore probably, hunched over the table in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that should've been tossed ten years ago. Thankfully there's no one in the dorm to see him.

There's also no one around to stop him from scrolling all the way back in his messages with Chanyeol, when Chanyeol was still spamming him with nonsense at least once a day. No one to stop him from going down the list and thinking, _He sent you this thinking you were going out, why were you so stupid and couldn't see?_

He's not so drunk that he doesn't know what he's doing, but pretends he is so the excuse is there later.

**yoongi:** if you're really never going to talk to me again  
 **yoongi:** can you come out and say it

His phone stays silent.

**yoongi:** fucking TALK TO ME  
 **yoongi:** i didn't know  
 **yoongi:** if you're going to date someone you need to TELL THEM

Yoongi shoves his phone across the table. He figures he's been blocked by Chanyeol for months now, doesn't see any reason why that wouldn't be the case. He's dropped his head against the tabletop, banging on it lightly, but repeatedly, trying to gather energy just to give up. It's hilariously ironic.

His phone chimes, but he doesn't move. It's likely Jungkook or Namjoon asking how his studio time went. Maybe Seokjin sharing a photo of dinner. Something mundane that will only highlight the one reply that hasn't come for ages.

Yoongi has nearly fallen asleep when his phone rings, vibrating so loud against the glass tabletop that Yoongi nearly has a heart attack. He picks it up blindly and brings it to his ear.

"Yeah?"

"...Um, it's me." Chanyeol's voice. Yoongi's whole body stiffens. "Can I come over?"

"I — right now?"

"Oh. It's a bad time. Sorry."

"No!" Yoongi stares down at his clothes. "I was just. Going to shower."

"So it is a bad time," Chanyeol says, but Yoongi can hear him smiling. "I'm finishing up something. Can I see you in half an hour?"

"Um, really? Sure. Okay."

"Okay."

Yoongi stares at his phone for a good five minutes after the call disconnects. Then he startles like he's just been dropped into an ice bath and stumbles out of the kitchen. In the hallway, he catches sight of himself in a mirror; he confirms he does look like an eyesore, hair all tangled and a severe five o'clock shadow rounding things out.

He's not going to sober up in half an hour, but he jumps into all ice cold shower to get close to it, cursing the entire time. He's barely put on clean clothes when the intercom buzzes. Before answering, he has to rest his head against the wall and take a few deep breaths. Yeah, he's still fucking drunk.

"Hey, it's me," Chanyeol says, waving at the camera. He has a black cap on and a face mask, but the eyes are obvious.

Yoongi should've told him to come another day. This is actually what he hates, being vulnerable and too tipsy to control his emotions enough to put up a front. But Chanyeol's already here. Yoongi can't send him away in case he never comes back.

"Hi," he says as evenly as possible. "Um, it's apartment 1410."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

Yoongi leans against the wall while he waits. His fingers tap nervously against his thigh and he hugs himself. He thinks about calling someone to come home and supervise.

The doorbell startles him. He leans over and opens it slowly, as if it might still be a stranger on the other side. Instead, it's an almost stranger.

Chanyeol looks — good. Really good. He's wearing black tailored jeans and a white button up under a camel-colored wool coat that hits just above his knees. Yoongi, though he put on more presentable clothes, feels like a slob in comparison.

Yoongi stays leaning against the wall when Chanyeol steps past him.

"Looks a lot like our dorm," Chanyeol says, glancing around. Yoongi sees him pause at the bottle of soju left open on the dining table. He turns back and studies Yoongi. "Are you drunk?"

Yoongi rubs the back of his neck and stares at the floor. "Yeah. A little."

"I can come back another time."

"Will you though?" Yoongi says, biting his lip and looking up.

Chanyeol presses his lips together, then walks further into the apartment, sitting down on the couch. He doesn't even take his coat off.

Yoongi sits on the opposite end and draws his legs up. He doesn't know how to start this conversation and can't even begin to imagine what Chanyeol has to say. He hopes his body doesn't decide to puke up everything he drank.

"So," Chanyeol starts, looking out the balcony doors. "It turns out when you unblock someone, you suddenly see the messages they sent you while you had them blocked."

Yoongi hurriedly tries to recall what would've been the most embarrassing thing he sent, glad he never sent anything in a drunken stupor, at least until today.

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol says.

Yoongi looks up in surprise, but Chanyeol is still angled away.

"I was hurt and embarrassed and wanted to protect myself, but I picked a really shitty way to go about it." Chanyeol finally turns to Yoongi. "Reading all the messages you sent me was a bit brutal. I should've just," he laughs tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I should've just talked to you."

"I didn't know," Yoongi says, tugging his sleeves over his hands. "You never asked me and. I just thought, I don't know."

"I thought I was obvious."

Yoongi shakes his head, then shrugs. "Maybe. I'm also not — I don't really see myself as dateable, so even if you were I wouldn't have thought that."

"Not dateable? The hell are you talking about?" Chanyeol actually sounds offended. "I wanted to — no, I thought I was dating you. By definition that makes you dateable."

"Just historically speaking, is all," Yoongi mumbles, finding it difficult to recover from Chanyeol's aggressive defending of him.

A few awkward moments pass. Maybe it's the alcohol or Yoongi's desperation to distract from the silence, but he says, "I missed you," and stares hard and steadfast at the floor, his lack of sobriety doing nothing to lessen how uncomfortable he is talking about feelings. But when Chanyeol still doesn't speak, Yoongi thinks he should ask Chanyeol to leave. He got an apology and that would have to be good enough.

"Would you have said yes?" Chanyeol says, cautious. "If I had asked you back then?"

Yoongi rubs his eye. "I don't know."

"What if I asked you now?"

Yoongi's chest tightens and he breaks into a sweat. "Are you?"

Chanyeol shakes his head. "Probably not a good question when you're not sober." He takes a deep breath and braces his hands on his knees, standing. "Anyway, it's late. I should go."

It's barely nine, but Yoongi doesn't stop him. Chanyeol pauses in front of him and he looks up, suddenly thinking back to the last time they were alone and how gorgeously unguarded Chanyeol had looked kneeling on the bed, the eager way he'd responded to each of Yoongi's touches. There's none of that now in Chanyeol's body language and Yoongi feels suffocated, like the full weight of what he ruined just hit him.

"Hey," Chanyeol says, frowning and crouches down. Yoongi hiccups, trying to breathe normally, and grips the sleeves of Chanyeol's coat. "You're okay. You're fine."

Yoongi nods jerkily and forces himself to let go of Chanyeol. "Fuck. Sorry."

Chanyeol shushes him and gently takes Yoongi's arm, tugging lightly for him to stand. "Where's your room? You should sleep off the alcohol."

Wordlessly, Yoongi leads them down the hall and turns into the room he shares with Seokjin. From there, Chanyeol seems to know which side is Yoongi's and pulls back the blankets to let Yoongi crawl under. In the morning, he'll be embarrassed about having to be tucked in, but right now he wishes it would never end and holds on to the blanket until he feels his nails dig into his palms so he doesn't reach out for Chanyeol's clothes and ask him to stay.

Chanyeol leaves the room and Yoongi wonders if he really left without even saying anything, but not even a minute later, he returns with a glass of water and places it on the nightstand as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"I'll let myself out," Chanyeol says, squeezing Yoongi's shoulder. "But you should drink that before you fall asleep."

Yoongi digs his nails in harder. "Thanks." When Chanyeol doesn't get up immediately, he says, "What?"

"Nothing," Chanyeol says, smiling. "Someone said to me the other day that you seemed like a really intimidating person to get to know and I think it's really amusing because you look very cute right now."

Yoongi huffs and his arm darts out to shove at Chanyeol before he even knows what he's doing. "Leave," he says, throwing the sheet over his face. "I'm not taking these insults."

"All right," Chanyeol laughs. The weight on the bed shifts and Yoongi sees a shadow through the sheets before he feels the distinct pressure of lips against his forehead. "See you."

There's the sound of footsteps and the door closing. The dorm is completely silent for minutes when Yoongi finally pushes the covers back. He sits up and picks up the glass of water, drinking half of it. He pulls his phone out of his sweatshirt and opens his chat with Chanyeol. His thumbs hover over the keyboard and not a single thing pops into his head about what he wants to say.

Chanyeol sends him a message first and Yoongi nearly drops his phone on his face.

**chanyeol:** i don't know if you ever finished that demo you sent me  
 **chanyeol:** if not i think replacing the synth with strings would be good  
 **chanyeol:** anyway it was really good to see you again

Yoongi stares at the messages for a long time. Finally, he sends back a simple 'you too' and silences his phone immediately, placing it face down on the nightstand. Still, he stays awake until the others return to the dorm one by one, staring at the ceiling and thinking too much.

But for the first time in a while, he is hopeful.

+

Part of Yoongi genuinely thought Chanyeol's visit was just for closure. He had steeled himself for never hearing from Chanyeol again and for future interactions to be as if they were simply acquaintances.

The opposite happens, though things are cautious at first, of course. Chanyeol texts him again, but he's no longer as casual as he'd been before. Still, he sends photos and funny things he thinks Yoongi might like. In turn, Yoongi sends snippets of the demos he's working on, ideas he's thinking about for the next album, restaurants he goes to with Seokjin or Hoseok that he thinks Chanyeol might like. He sends over the track he finally finished after incorporating Chanyeol's suggestion and for days can't keep the smile off his face because Chanyeol had responded with so many compliments.

"You guys are talking again?" Jimin says while they're waiting to have their makeup done for a CF shooting. Yoongi's hair was dyed a dark lilac a couple weeks ago while Jimin was allowed to return to black. "You seem happier lately."

Yoongi tries to fasten the button on his cuff. "I'm a joy all the time."

Jimin snorts and gets smacked by their stylist when slouches too much in the chair. "So are you two…?"

Yoongi briefly catches Jimin's eyes through the mirror, then drops his gaze. "No, it's," he mumbles, lips barely moving. "It's not like that."

"Do you want it to be?"

That's the question Yoongi's been avoiding for weeks. Each time it edges into his thoughts, he throws himself into work or practice until he's physically too exhausted to consider it. He's annoyed Jimin brings it up so casually.

"I haven't thought about it," Yoongi says, not a lie.

Jimin smiles, closed-lipped and smug. "Your face already says it all, hyung."

"What does hyung's face say?" Jungkook pops over and drapes his arms over Jimin's shoulders. He has a lollipop dangling from his mouth and it's turning the inside edges of his lips cherry red.

"Nothing," Yoongi says, but Jimin has already turned around, mouthing Chanyeol's name to Jungkook.

"Hyung, if it's what you want, you should just go for it."

"Whose life is this, yours or mine?" Yoongi says, covering up his flustered state with practiced agitation. "Stop telling me what to do."

Unsurprisingly, Jungkook and Jimin just grin and send him annoying finger hearts. He can't even get away because the stylists come over and start doing his hair and makeup. For the next half hour, Yoongi does the next best thing and sends his worst glower in Jimin and Jungkook's direction.

But in the last moments, while his lips get touched up and his hair set, Yoongi looks into the mirror and allows himself to see what's written on his face.

+

The beginnings of spring are just starting to show. Some of the snow has started to melt and new fashion trends are popping up on stores. Yoongi's birthday is on a Friday and he'll actually be in Seoul this year. The company has organized a fan meeting, but there's no schedule for the weekend.

Early in the week, Yoongi musters up all his bravery and asks Chanyeol if he happens to be free. The whole day goes by before a reply comes.

**chanyeol:** we have something sat morning but that's it  
 **chanyeol:** what's up  
 **yoongi:** do you want to have dinner

Yoongi sends it before he loses the last bit of nerve he has. In the minute it takes for Chanyeol to respond, Yoongi almost rescinds his invite five times.

**chanyeol:** yeah let's do it  
 **chanyeol:** give me a time and place to meet you  
 **yoongi:** i'll ask seokjin for a recommendation

Yoongi thinks he might have a date.

+

The night he's supposed to meet Chanyeol is frigid, a freak cold front coming in from Siberia. Yoongi takes a taxi to the restaurant and gets led to a private dining room in the back. There's side dishes already laid out but Yoongi holds off on ordering until Chanyeol arrives.

The cold has just started to seep out of Yoongi's bones when the door slides open and Chanyeol lumbers in shivering and carrying with him the chill from outside. Yoongi thinks about turning on the grill just for extra warmth.

"Christ, it's freezing out," Chanyeol says, sitting down across from Yoongi and rubbing his cheeks. His coat makes him look triple his usual size. "I can't feel my face."

"Don't over exaggerate." Yoongi rings the bell for service and a few seconds later a middle-aged woman with a kind smile enters.

He orders for both of them based on what Seokjin had told him to get. There's never been a single time when following Seokjin's instructions at a restaurant has failed him.

"God, I haven't had barbecue in weeks." Chanyeol sheds his coat and instantly shrinks in size. His hair, a dark blue, has started to fade a bit and is a little bit staticy from the dry air. Unstyled, it just barely falls over his eyes.

This is the second time he's seen Chanyeol in person since they — resolved things. The first time had been at a music show where they were performing but Chanyeol and Junmyeon were guest MCs for the week. That had been an interesting jump into the deep end. Everyone says he had looked and sounded fine when Chanyeol had directly asked him a question about the new mini album, but Yoongi has blocked those 15 seconds out of his memory and refuses to watch the clip.

"The abs thing again?" Yoongi cracks open his soda. It's going to be a while before he's comfortable drinking in front of Chanyeol again.

"Oh my god, no," Chanyeol says, holding out his glass while Yoongi pours. "I just haven't been in Seoul for more than 48 hours for almost two months. Flew in from Osaka this morning."

Yoongi blinks and sits up straighter. "You didn't have to come. Aren't you tired?"

Chanyeol waves Yoongi off. "Why wouldn't I? You asked and I was free. Staying out is good, it'll help me pretend like I can adjust back to a normal daylight schedule."

When the meat arrives, Yoongi mans the grill. While waiting, Chanyeol munches on the side dishes, leaning forward with his elbows perched on the table top.

"You guys getting busy soon?" Chanyeol says, biting the end of a chopstick.

Yoongi shrugs. "We're doing prep for the new tour."

"Ugh, brutal schedules, but on the bright side no ridiculous traveling," Chanyeol says, propping his chin on his hand.

Yoongi smiles. "Famous people problems," he says, flipping the meat over. He listens to Chanyeol complain some more about his upcoming schedule which include stops across three continents in a single month.

"Toben barely recognizes me as it is!" Chanyeol says, throwing his hands up.

"I'm pretty sure he knows who you are, he just doesn't want to show it," Yoongi says, putting the grilled pieces of beef on Chanyeol's plate. A minute later, a neat lettuce wrap shows up in front of him. Chanyeol waits patiently for Yoongi to get over the initial surprise and lean forward, allowing Chanyeol to push the wrap into his mouth.

"Are you blushing?" Chanyeol says, grinning as he makes a new wrap for himself. "Because I fed you?"

"The room is warm," Yoongi mutters. "We have a grill on."

Luckily, Chanyeol doesn't push it and steers the conversation to something more neutral. Yoongi listens to Chanyeol talk about the new places he got to stop by in Osaka this time around, the new mom and pop restaurants he stumbled upon. It's not that Yoongi's forgotten how animated Chanyeol can get talking about something he finds exciting, but it's been so long since he's seen it in person, so he easily gets caught staring when Chanyeol stops to catch his breath.

"Do you even know what you're doing right now?" Chanyeol says, propping his elbow on the table and perching his chin in his hand. It mirrors Yoongi's pose. "Not a rhetorical question by the way. I really want to know."

Maybe Yoongi should've ordered the soju. "You're the one feeding me," he says, drawing back, suddenly unsure of if he's reading Chanyeol correctly. It had almost felt like they'd never had a falling out. He rubs behind his ear. "You never asked me again."

"Ask what?"

"To date me," Yoongi forces out.

"Because you never told me if you would say yes," Chanyeol says, seeming casual, but when Yoongi glances over the table, it's easy to see that flash of insecurity and caution. He sighs. "Sorry, it's just. To be honest, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for you. And the thing is, it's been nice being able to talk to you again and have it start to feel like, like before."

"But?"

"But having feelings for you means that doing stuff like sitting here joking around with you is hard. And I still can't tell if dating me is something you want. And if it isn't, I'm not really good at the just staying friends thing."

Yoongi sits on his hands and sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. "Really putting the pressure on," he mumbles, staring down at his knees.

"Just being honest."

Yoongi takes a deep breath. "So if I can't say yes," he says, looking up, "this going to be a 'see you around' dinner?"

Chanyeol hesitates, but still nods. "Yeah, I suppose," he says. "Just go back to two people who work in the same industry."

All Yoongi needs to do is say yes, but he doesn't know why it's so hard, what he's so scared of.

"Look, if you don't like me, just say no. I can handle it."

"That's not," Yoongi starts to say, but doesn't know the rest of the words he's looking for. He rubs his face, elbows propped on the table. "Two friends just sleeping together sometimes to blow off steam is easy, but dating is, there's responsibility there."

Chanyeol leans back in his chair, looking much more tired than when he first sat down. "I told you, I already thought we were dating. What you were giving me then was already fine. So again, just tell me it isn't what you want and we'll finish this nice dinner and go our separate ways."

"Stop saying I don't like you!"

"Then why can't you say that you do?" Chanyeol shoots back.

Yoongi sinks his hands into his hair but stops just short of pulling on it. He snorts and laughs to himself, not really believing this is the birthday dinner he's having, then not believing he considers this a birthday dinner.

"This is funny?"

It's not, but Yoongi doesn't know what's happening. He didn't foresee this and doesn't know what he wants to say much less should say. The only thing that's funny is how Yoongi had thought this could've been a date, and maybe it is, just an epically shitty one.

"I do like you," Yoongi says, talking more to the table than to Chanyeol. "I'm just not good at dating. I'm not being very good at it right now."

"I can't really tell what answer you're giving me, but it sounds like a no."

This is a runaway train Yoongi didn't even realize he'd lost control of miles back. When he lifts his head, he's struck by how closed off Chanyeol already seems. Chanyeol's not looking at him and is picking at the side dishes, like the conversation is over. Maybe because of that, Yoongi finds himself saying, barely above a whisper, "I guess so."

Like a video paused, Chanyeol stops, chopsticks hovering in midair. His eyes connect with Yoongi's and hurt shines so clearly in them Yoongi wants to throw up.

"Wow, you really," Chanyeol speaks quietly, swallowing. His smile looks bitter. "You really don't want to."

All protests stay lodged in Yoongi's throat. This is what he's scared of: what it means to date Chanyeol, how easily Chanyeol shows his feelings and what will happen when he wants the same from Yoongi. And the moment when Chanyeol starts to stop liking him, how that will inevitably be the same moment Yoongi realizes he can't ever let Chanyeol go.

"I just," Yoongi says, tongue feeling too big for his mouth. "I just want it to be how it was before." It was good before. Safe.

Chanyeol sets his chopsticks down abruptly. "Sorry," he says, gathering his coat. "I know I said we could finish dinner, but I don't think I actually can." He fishes out his wallet and drops a couple large bills on the table.

Yoongi's body won't respond. Not when Chanyeol gets up or when he puts on his coat. There's a moment of hesitation when Chanyeol puts his hand on the door and he turns to say, "Why did you ask me to come if you were never going to say yes?"

But Yoongi has no answer.

Chanyeol leaves.

+

Yoongi's mind is blank when he pays for dinner and the entire ride back to the dorm. There's a lot of yelling from the living room when he enters and tiredly toes off his shoes. The three youngest are crowded on the couch playing games.

"Oh, hyung! You're back," Jungkook says, only glancing over for a split second, mashing his controller frantically.

Jimin's not actively playing and looks over for longer. "Hyung?" he says, more concerned.

The game pauses on its own and Jungkook says into his headset, "Baekhyun-hyung?" Then he's just quiet and stares at Yoongi, his expression belonging to someone who just walked into a conversation not meant for his ears.

Abruptly, Jungkook rips his headset off and stalks over to Yoongi who, knowing Jungkook had been playing with Baekhyun, wonders that he just accidentally overheard.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Taehyung and Jimin look uneasy at Jungkook's disrespectful and sharp words, but Yoongi barely registers it. "I'm really tired, Jungkook. I'm going to bed early."

"Why do you keep hurting him?"

Yoongi doesn't have a good response. He's still looking for someone to tell him the answer too.

"Hyung," Jimin says from the couch. "I thought you asked Chanyeol out. Weren't you on a date? What happened?"

"I fucked up, okay?" Yoongi snaps and Jungkook steps back like he's been chastised. "I thought I could, but I can't. I don't fucking know how to — whatever, it doesn't matter, it's done."

He stalks off before anyone else can pile on the commentary about how much he's screwed up. But now that other people know he turned Chanyeol down—

He replays the conversation from just an hour ago, how it'd gone from flirty to a disaster in moments. He'd been so hopeful just a few days ago. During the time in between when Chanyeol had accepted his invitation and the dinner, Yoongi had even imagined how things might go, how he'd been expecting to leave dinner with a new relationship status too.

Someone knocks on the door and Yoongi looks over to see Taehyung pop his head in.

"Hey, hyung." Taehyung's smile is easy going per usual. "Can I come in?"

Yoongi doesn't say anything and shrugs. He starts changing into pajamas. Taehyung takes his silence as permission and slips inside, plopping down on Yoongi's bed.

"Jungkook's been getting close with Baekhyun and them lately. You know he's not good when people he cares about are having a rough time."

Truthfully, Yoongi isn't even upset at Jungkook calling him out. His words had stung, but they hadn't been wrong. "I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. I'll apologize to him later."

Taehyung hums. "I think he just wants you and Chanyeol-hyung together."

Yoongi tugs a faded Darth Vader t-shirt on. "We all want a lot of things," he mutters.

"What scared you?"

Trust Taehyung to get right to the point. They never really talk too often about serious issues, but Yoongi has always found Taehyung easiest to converse with when it happens. If it were anyone else asking him right now, he'd clam up. He rubs his face and messes up his hair, sitting down next to Taehyung.

"He's kind of perfect," Yoongi says, drawing his legs up. "And that's intimidating."

"Ah, come on, he probably has some bad points."

"He thinks nature documentaries is a good lead in for putting moves on someone."

Taehyung whistles. "He _is_ perfect."

Yoongi laughs a little, but it's bitter. "I don't know why I choked. I fucked up. I don't think he'll talk to me again." He buries his face in his hands. "Fuck, I really fucked up."

Taehyung pats his back. "You can apologize. Be honest with him. He wouldn't cut you off."

"You didn't see his face. He didn't even stay for the rest of dinner. He asked me why I even asked him out if I was going to turn him down again."

"But you didn't want to turn him down. You just got scared. There's nothing wrong with that."

Yoongi presses the heels of his palms against his eyes. "If I were him, I wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore," he says. Panic and dread gathers in him and he feels sick. He takes a deep breath and pushes it down. "Doesn't matter. What's done is done, or whatever."

Taehyung leaning over to hug Yoongi is slightly surprising, but not unwelcome. "What we do gets really lonely sometimes," he says, chin perched on Yoongi's shoulders. "It's scary and hard being with someone, but sometimes it's harder not to have it at all, you know?"

Yoongi takes in Taehyun's advice, but doesn't react. Taehyung doesn't seem to be bothered.

"At least, that's what I think," Taehyung says, shrugging lightly. "Anyway, if Chanyeol is as perfect as you say he is, then he'll understand." He squeezes Yoongi's arms. "Call him."

Yoongi nods, but there's no feeling behind it and he thinks Taehyung can probably tell.

"Sleep on it first," Taehyung says, forcing Yoongi to lie down without detaching himself. "Decide tomorrow."

Yoongi tries to get comfortable with Taehyung hanging off him quite firmly. "Are you staying here?"

"Mhm, just for a little bit. So you're not lonely."

As thanks, Yoongi runs his hand through Taehyung's hair and massages his scalp until they both fall asleep.

+

Yoongi gives Chanyeol a couple days of space first. He apologizes to Jungkook and is taken aback when Jungkook looks close to tears and lets the youngest stay glued to his side for the rest of the weekend.

They spend most of Sunday at Yoongi's studio, eating convenience store food and Yoongi has Jungkook lay vocals for some demos he's put together in recent weeks. The only silver lining to the complicated relationship he has with Chanyeol is the amount of inspiration he's had, even if most of the material he's written is depressing as fuck from when Chanyeol wasn't talking to him.

Jungkook isn't shy about pointing it out. "Did you write that about Chanyeol?" he says after Yoongi is satisfied with the vocal recording.

"Yeah," Yoongi says, seeing no use in denying the fact. "There's lots of tracks about him."

Jungkook goes quiet for a little bit, then says, "Taehyung says you're scared."

The noise Yoongi makes is neutral. "And?" When he looks over, Jungkook is chewing nervously on his bottom lip. "Spit it out."

"Well," Jungkook says, sucking in a deep breath, like he's physically gathering the courage to say what's on his mind. "It wasn't just Chanyeol who thought you guys were dating. We actually all thought you were too."

Yoongi stops tinkering with the bass levels and spins around in his chair. "Why?" he says, not defensive or accusatory, just curious.

Jungkook shrugs, looking even smaller in his oversized sweatshirt. Yoongi thinks briefly of Chanyeol and the clothes he swims in. "You saw him all the time. You were _excited_ to see him all the time. You looked happy in a way that none of us had seen before, so we just all thought you guys were dating, but you just didn't want to call attention to it."

That does sound like something Yoongi would do. He plays with the drawstrings on his own hoodie and stares at the frayed ends. He thinks about the last thing he said to Chanyeol, about how he wanted things to return how it was in the beginning. He only just now realizes that perhaps how it was actually isn't different at all from what Chanyeol was asking from him.

Yoongi drops his head back and stares at the ceiling, staring at the lights until bright spots fade in and out of his vision. "Do you think he'll give me a third chance?" he says suddenly, unsure of how well he masked the uncertainty and nervousness in his voice. He only feels a little ridiculous seeking reassurance from Jungkook who probably has better things to do than comfort Yoongi about his problems with a non-existent relationship.

"He really likes you, hyung," Jungkook says, shifting to sit cross-legged on the couch. His Ironman socks still peek out under his knees. "Baekhyun-hyung didn't get a chance to mute his mic last night. Chanyeol-hyung was hurt, but. Only because he likes you so much. You shouldn't be scared of someone who you mean that much to."

Yoongi closes his eyes and thinks about how much more mature than him the younger ones are. "What did he say to Baekhyun?"

"He was just upset," Jungkook says, obviously not wanting to reveal too much of what he heard since he wasn't supposed to in the first place. "He said he wished he didn't like you so much. Then Baekhyun-hyung got really mad and that's when I, um, got mad too."

Yoongi frowns. Getting past Baekhyun this time will be almost impossible. Last time it had only been a misunderstanding, but this time Yoongi knew what he was doing. He's surprised Baekhyun hasn't shown up in front of him yet ready to pummel his face in.

The night's still young.

"Hyung."

"Hm?"

"You don't think that you don't _deserve_ Chanyeol-hyung, do you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. Just sometimes it seems you think about yourself like that. Or, not that you personally don't deserve him, but you don't want to be selfish about something that might negatively affect the group."

Yoongi lifts his head and stares at Jungkook. "You make me sound really pitiful."

Jungkook shrugs. "We've already made it, you know. We perform last on shows and we have awards and endorsements and we get _paid_." He shakes the empty carton of banana milk in his hand. "We eat really unhealthy convenience store food because we want to, not because we have to. And yeah, Taehyung gets free Gucci for the exposure, but he also buys that shit out of pocket, y'know? So, really, things are good now and you can stop being afraid that it's all going to disappear."

"Jungkook," Yoongi says quietly, his chest uncomfortably tight.

"I'm just saying," Jungkook barrels on, more force behind his words, sitting up straighter and practically puffing out his chest. "You're not that kid deciding between dinner and a bus ride home anymore. Have something for yourself, even if it's something big like being with someone. We'll all support you. We already were."

Yoongi's eyes sting and he quickly spins his chair away from Jungkook, clicking on random files on the computer. He sniffles loudly and pretends his sinuses are just acting up.

"Get over here," he says, clearing his throat. "I need you to redo the bridge."

Jungkook's voice is bright when he answers, "Yes, hyung," and he settles in the chair next to Yoongi and turns the microphone this way and that, full of energy again.

Before he hits 'record', Yoongi rests his hand against the back of Jungkook's neck and squeezes lightly. Jungkook's smile in return is evidence he knows exactly what's being said without Yoongi having to actually say it.

The bridge comes out exactly as Yoongi imagined it.

+

Yoongi starts thinking about what he wants to say to Chanyeol starting at 10am on Tuesday, but finds reasons to not actually text or call until it's nearly midnight. Seokjin locks him out of their room until he shows proof of attempting a conversation.

So he's sitting alone in the living room with just the corner lamp on, bouncing one knee anxiously while he stares at his phone. Texting seems too flippant and disingenuous and he wants Chanyeol to hear how sorry he is, but he's not sure he can handle calling Chanyeol only to find out he's been blocked.

Jungkook shuffles past and into the kitchen, walking back out a few seconds later with two bottles of banana milk. They really need to wean him off that stuff.

"Hyung, just call him," Jungkook says, tearing open a bottle and emptying it in two to three gulps. Yoongi makes a face of concern. Jungkook snatches the phone and Yoongi realizes too late what he's doing. He tries to steal it back, but Jungkook takes advantage of his height and holds it out of reach while it rings on speaker.

"Fucking _give_ me — _Jungkook_!"

Jungkook shoves Yoongi back onto the couch and pins him there by the shoulder. The ringing stops.

"... Hello?"

Both of them freeze, but Jungkook recovers first. "Hey, hyung."

"Jungkook? This isn't your number."

"I know," Jungkook says, smiling at Yoongi who doesn't need to be held down anymore. He's too preoccupied by the fact that Chanyeol actually picked up his call. "I was just helping someone out. I've got some battles to go win, have a good night!"

Jungkook presses the phone into Yoongi's hand, who snaps out of his stupor and stares at the timer on the screen showing that the call is still connected.

"Hyung!" Jungkook whispers. "Say something!"

Yoongi takes the phone off speaker and holds it up to his ear. "Um, hi."

"Hi," says Chanyeol.

Jungkook waves his arms around wildly indicating Yoongi should continue to talk.

"I, uh, I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"No, there's not much important stuff going on at midnight."

Yoongi bites his lip. "Are you sure? You can say if I'm bothering you."

Jungkook gives the biggest eyeroll and grabs Yoongi's attention, mouthing with emphasis, _tell him how you feel_ , then wanders off to give him some privacy. Yoongi moves to huddle in the corner of the sofa.

"You're not bothering me, Yoongi. I wouldn't have picked up if you were."

The way Chanyeol says Yoongi's name makes his chest ache. "Okay. All right."

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?" Chanyeol says after a few more seconds of silence.

"Yes," Yoongi forces out. He's so out of his element. The heat is barely on in the dorm, but Yoongi is breaking out into a sweat, the phone almost slipping out of his hand. "I wanted to. I mean, what happened the other night. I want to apologize and try to explain, if you'll let me."

"All right."

These short, formal answers from Chanyeol are painful, but Yoongi does his best to not let it affect him. "Right, so. I'm sorry for how our conversation turned out. It wasn't what I wanted when I invited you."

"What did you want then?"

Fuck, this is hard. Yoongi almost wishes Jungkook had stayed for moral support, even if it means him witnessing Yoongi putting his feelings on display. "I wanted to say yes," he says, staring at the ceiling. If he pretends he's not actually speaking to Chanyeol, or anyone really, just saying his thoughts out loud to himself, it doesn't quite feel like trying to force blocks through a circle. "I wanted to be able to ask you out, to say that dating seemed scary, but also exciting and I wanted to give it a try."

"So what happened?"

"I freaked out," Yoongi says, twisting and untwisting the leg of his sweatpants. "You walked in and I was just, so relieved you actually showed up, and then we started talking like old times and I just. Got scared. I didn't want to lose that, but," he stops and laughs tersely, "it ended up happening anyway."

"Are you calling me to say you want another chance?"

"Not demanding one," Yoongi says, biting the inside of his cheek. "But asking for one, yes." When Chanyeol stays silent, Yoongi pulls the phone away just to check that he hasn't been hung up on. A few more seconds tick by and Yoongi swallows the lump in his throat. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done this. You made things clear when you left dinner. This is probably really offensive."

"I want to talk about this in person."

"What?"

"I'm not doing this over the phone in the middle of the night," says Chanyeol. "Is there anywhere private we can meet tomorrow?"

"Uh."

"I'd invite you over, but there's a couple people who aren't too happy with you right now."

Yoongi can't help but wince. Their own dorm won't be empty tomorrow either, so he offers the first place he can think of. "We can use my studio."

"Okay, send me the address. I can come over in the afternoon."

"Yeah, um, okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah," Yoongi says, then after a brief pause, "Good night."

"Good night," Chanyeol says and hangs up. Yoongi tries not to fixate on how much Chanyeol had sounded unlike himself. He's not sure what will happen tomorrow, but based on their conversation, he doesn't get his hopes up.

On his way to bed, Yoongi pauses in Jungkook's doorway, watching him finish a round of League of Legends. Jungkook wins, of course. He smiles slightly when Jungkook notices his presence.

"Oh! You're done?"

Yoongi nods and leans against the door frame. "We're going to meet tomorrow and finish talking in person."

"That's good!" Jungkook says, looking so genuinely happy that Yoongi feels bad.

"I don't think it's going to work out," Yoongi says softly, giving a sad smile. "I think I missed my chance."

"Hyung, don't say that. You don't know what's going to happen."

"He sounded," Yoongi starts, looking away and shrugging. "He's never spoken to me like that before, like we're just acquaintances, but it's fine. Closure is a good thing."

Jungkook logs off his computer and walks over to hang off Yoongi's shoulders. "I think it'll turn out fine," he says, leading them across the hall to Yoongi's room. "You'll see."

Yoongi gives a terse smile and doesn't say anything more, leaving Jungkook to his optimism. They both crawl into Yoongi's bed and Yoongi's going to ask in the morning if there's a secret schedule being passed around for everyone to chaperone him in his sleep, as if he's going to have a nervous breakdown at any moment.

Still, he doesn't turn down Jungkook curling up behind him, accepts the comfort being provided because in all honesty he needs it.

+

Yoongi actually sleeps okay, but wakes up hours before he needs to be at his studio. Still, he figures he can fit in some more work and heads in, grabbing some lunch to go along the way.

When he sits down in his chair, computer booted in front of him, that's when the nerves get to him. His mind goes blank, no inspiration at all coming to him, and looking at his lunch just makes him queasy.

_yoongi:_ i can't do this  
 _jungkook:_ HYUNG yes you can  
 _taehyung:_ fighting!!!  
 _yoongi:_ i'm going to throw up  
 _yoongi:_ this is going to hurt  
 _jungkook:_ :( it'll be ok hyung

The only thing that keeps Yoongi from bailing is the overwhelming guilt he'd feel over rejecting Chanyeol a third time. He can't bear to do that, even if Chanyeol is coming over to reject him. So he stays and stares at the monitor as the hours tick by, doing a lot of nothing, until his phone chimes with a message from Chanyeol to say he's five minutes out.

Yoongi's hands are unsteady when he replies with a simple, ok.

Chanyeol shows up very obviously from a schedule. His hair is made up, bangs styled out of his eyes, and he's wearing a pair of dark gray slacks along with a simple white button up under a light grey sweater. Yoongi stares openly while Chanyeol slides off his wool coat and folds it over the arm of the small sofa in the back of the room.

"Did you actually invite me over just to look at me?" Chanyeol says after sitting down. The couch is a little low for him, so he extends his legs out and crosses his ankles. The studio isn't very big and his feet nearly reach Yoongi's chair.

Yoongi snaps out of it too late and turns away, tugging his beanie lower over his eyes. Since he's been caught in the act, he says, "You look nice." He knows Chanyeol's fully aware of what effect his looks have on those around him at any given time, so he might as well admit it.

"If I look so nice, come sit next to me then." When Yoongi doesn't move, Chanyeol actually gets up and grabs Yoongi's arm, dragging him over.

This isn't at all what he expected. He thought Chanyeol would still be cold and closed off the way he'd seen at dinner, but instead Chanyeol's body language is relaxed and casual, turned toward Yoongi with one leg folded under him as he props his arm against the backrest.

"Why'd you call me last night?"

Yoongi has to take a moment to collect his thoughts, mentally steadying himself. "I got called out for how I've been acting with you and neither were from people older than me. They basically said I was being stupid and ridiculous, which was embarrassing, but."

"But they were right?"

"Young people are unexpectedly smart these days," Yoongi says.

"Yeah, I got my own talking to as well," Chanyeol says, looking away briefly. "Actually, I was ready to have a completely different conversation with you today, but it turns out Jungkook and Taehyung are really stubborn and persuasive."

"You spoke to them?" Yoongi can't help the betrayal he feels. The things they spoke about were private, even if they were about Chanyeol.

"They didn't spill your secrets, if that's what you're worried about," Chanyeol says, holding his hands up. "They just wanted me to give you a chance to explain yourself, said you had good reasons for why you reacted the way you did."

Yoongi acknowledges he has reasons for why he spooked, but he doesn't know if any of them qualify as good. "There are reasons, yes," he says slowly.

"Tell me them," Chanyeol says, scooting closer. His knee barely touches Yoongi's thigh. "We'll talk, for real this time, and I'll tell you why there's nothing scary about us."

Like everything, Chanyeol makes it sound so simple. But the possibility that he might not be rejected gives Yoongi a boost of confidence and he takes a deep breath, even going as far as reaching over to take Chanyeol's hand. There's a flicker of surprise in Chanyeol's face, but he squeezes back and keeps Yoongi's hand in his lap.

Yoongi shares what he spoke about with Taehyung, about how he feels burdened when Chanyeol already treats him well and the doubts he has about being able to do the same. Even if Chanyeol says he's happy, Yoongi tries to explain that _he_ needs to feel good about it too, to feel like he's giving equally.

"You're just, always willing to give so much of yourself," Yoongi says, trying to word it in a way that doesn't make it come off as a bad thing. "I don't know how to be like that and I know it's okay that I can't, but there's knowing that logically and actually being able to accept it and the latter is, well, I'm having a bit of a hard time with it."

Chanyeol only nods and waits patiently for Yoongi to continue.

"The other thing is, relationships aren't something I ever considered when I signed a contract," Yoongi says, focusing on their hands. "I've seen others try and that shit always gets messy and especially if the gossip sites decide to out you and -- it's not just me, you know, the entire group has sacrificed a fuck ton to get to where we are and you guys too, like Junmyeon fucking training for _seven years_? If I date someone and it goes south, it's not just on me, all these other people are affected too and that's really fucking terrifying. If my being careless means the entire group gets blacklisted from performing again or worse, I'd--" He cuts himself off, breathing a little fast, and he rubs his eyes before staring at the opposite wall. "I wouldn't forgive myself, for sure, but I'd probably want to do worse things than that."

The sudden touch of Chanyeol's hand on his face startles him, but he only jumps a little. It's not meant to be anything but a gesture of comfort and Yoongi allows himself to accept it, some tension bleeding out of him. He tips his head to the side and sandwiches Chanyeol's hand between his cheek and the back of the couch. The silence is drawn out, but comfortable, and Yoongi is hit with an overwhelming urge to crawl into Chanyeol's lap. He shoves that thought away and hopes it doesn't show on his face.

"I've had those thoughts too," Chanyeol says, sliding his hand away only to tug Yoongi's beanie off and run his hands through Yoongi's uncombed hair. It's an unattractive yellow, the transitory shade before they dye it the real color it's supposed to be. "Maybe it's selfish and reckless, but I don't believe in having to choose. I like you and I like my job. I'll figure out a way to protect both."

Yoongi snorts, but closes his eyes and squeezes Chanyeol's hand. "You sound like you just popped out of a drama." And dressed like it too.

"People do call me the nation's boyfriend."

"What? Who calls you that?"

"Plenty of people!" Chanyeol says, actually sounding a little affronted that Yoongi is questioning it.

"I'm not one of them."

"Because you want to call me your boyfriend instead."

Yoongi turns serious and stares at Chanyeol, the words running through his head. "Yeah, that is what I want," he says softly, and the reliable spike of anxiety appears again. He holds onto Chanyeol's hand tighter.

"Ask me then."

Yoongi takes a few slow, even breaths, but he feels himself faltering again. This time, though, Chanyeol doesn't interpret the hesitation as rejection, and he mirrors Yoongi's pose, resting his head on the couch too, his face mere inches from Yoongi's. And he smiles and waits.

It's too much for Yoongi to handle. He moves in and presses his lips to Chanyeol's. He's gone without kissing Chanyeol for so long that the moment they touch, he releases an unmistakable whimper, the slick heat of Chanyeol's mouth making his thoughts hazy. Experiencing this again is what drives away the anxiety and fear. Chanyeol is solid and warm and responds in kind to everything Yoongi's doing, parting his lips with the barest encouragement, his hand firm behind Yoongi's neck to ground him.

"Mmf, wait," Chanyeol says, pulling away only enough so he can speak. His lips still graze Yoongi's. "Sorry, but you have to actually say the words."

"Date me," Yoongi says, clutching the side of Chanyeol's sweater. "I want to date you and I want you to date me."

Chanyeol's mouth is back on his before he even finishes the sentence. Yoongi's _missed_ this, ached for it, the unfair way Chanyeol's able to reduce him to pieces just from a kiss. He wants to spend the rest of the day pressed up against Chanyeol, making out until he forgets his own name. His body gradually makes it over into Chanyeol's lap and he's not so far gone that he's going to risk rushing things. He places his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders and tries to keep the kisses slow, safe.

When Yoongi finally pulls back, Chanyeol is grinning wide and showing way too much teeth, but Yoongi's smiling just as hard. This is what Yoongi was looking for, this finally feels like what they used to have.

"Any regrets?" Chanyeol says. His arms are wound loosely around Yoongi's waist.

Yoongi shakes his head. He feels good. There's still a little bit of trepidation and worry that comes with the unknown, but it's a lot less than what Yoongi had built it up to be. "Are you going to stop being the nation's boyfriend now?"

"Wow," Chanyeol laughs. "I really didn't expect you to be the jealous sort."

"It's not jealousy," Yoongi insists.

"If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck," Chanyeol says, which makes Yoongi punch his shoulder lightly.

Yoongi bites his bottom lip. "How pissed is Baekhyun at me?"

Chanyeol hums, letting his head loll to the side while he pets Yoongi's back slowly. "Honestly, pretty pissed. But I'll handle him."

"You sure? I can apologize."

"For what?" says Chanyeol. "Your feelings are valid. He's just protective even though we're the same age. He thinks I'm too soft-hearted."

"You are," Yoongi says, his smile a little sad. "I want to apologize to you then."

"You did last night."

Yoongi shakes his head. "For taking this long to figure my shit out and dragging you through it. M'sorry."

Chanyeol's smile is soft and reassuring. Yoongi is tempted to tell him not to move so he can take a dozen or two photos of his annoyingly attractive face. "You don't have to apologize for that, but you probably should thank Jungkook and Taehyung for convincing me to hear you out."

"Their thanks is me going back and telling them I'm dating top idol Park Chanyeol," Yoongi says, pressing his hands to either side of Chanyeol's face. "They'll get enough joy out of constantly teasing me about my relationship status."

Chanyeol barks out a laugh. "All right, I'll say my boyfriend is famous rapper Min Suga."

"Yeah, you better say the famous part."

As Chanyeol's amusement settles, he just sits there and stares at Yoongi, uncharacteristically quiet.

"Quit it, you're making me self conscious."

Chanyeol places his hands over Yoongi's. "It's just nice knowing exactly where we stand now. Extra nice that it worked out for the better."

"Okay, you sap," Yoongi says, squishing Chanyeol's face, but he swallows his pride and gives in to the urge to peck Chanyeol on the lips. "I'm happy too."

"You grumpy ones are always the most adorable."

"Get out," Yoongi says, sliding off Chanyeol's lap. "Don't you have a job? With places to be? I have work to do."

"I do have somewhere to be, actually," Chanyeol says, looking at his watch. "But listen, I'm flying out in a few days to Florence for a week. Do you have time before that to retry our dinner date?"

Yoongi tugs his beanie back on. "I think I'm free Thursday night."

Chanyeol checks his phone and hums, mouth twisting into a slight frown. "I have a thing, but I'll figure out how to move it."

"You don't have to shift your entire schedule."

Chanyeol stands up, towering, grabbing his coat and slipping it on. "I'm not going to agree to dating only to immediately disappear for a week. I want to see you again before I leave."

Yoongi sighs. "This is what I mean by you giving too much of yourself."

Chanyeol pauses in the middle of fixing his collar. "Am I already going overboard?"

Standing up, Yoongi finishes straightening Chanyeol's coat. "No, it's fine. If it's what you want, I'm fine with it. Really."

Chanyeol loops his arms around Yoongi's waist and grins at him. "I like when you fix my coat like that. Very boyfriend-y."

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "I'm not your parental guardian. I won't do it again."

"All right," Chanyeol says, in a tone that suggests he's definitely going to make Yoongi do it again multiple times. He pockets his phone and hugs Yoongi tight. "Okay, I gotta run, I'm actually kind of late, but text me! Send me lots of selfies! Tell everyone you're dating top idol Park Chanyeol!" He punctuates every demand with a kiss.

It's overwhelming, but not in a terrible way.

Yoongi forcibly shoves Chanyeol out the door anyway.

+

They have dinner at a small restaurant owned by a sweet elderly couple, the place barely large enough to fit four tables. The entire time they're there, only one other table has guests and it's a few middle-aged businessmen who wouldn't have the slightest idea who Chanyeol and Yoongi are.

Returning to the dorm a couple days ago had been interesting, to put it one way. Jungkook and Taehyung had been waiting in the living room and charged the foyer the moment Yoongi walked in, demanding to know what happened and literally running and yelling throughout the dorm when Yoongi told them the good news. The chaos had been annoying and woke Seokjin up from a nap, but Yoongi still found himself smiling through it.

Chanyeol tells him over a plate of dumplings that Baekhyun is no longer angry at Yoongi, but still, "I'd recommend walking in the opposite direction if you see him for at least another week or so."

Dating really isn't too much different than how they used to hang out. They share gossip about other celebrities and songs they're each working on. When Yoongi brings up that Chanyeol hasn't posted any covers in a while, Chanyeol winks at him and promises to record something romantic just for him very soon.

After not being around Chanyeol for over half a year, Yoongi figured knowing Chanyeol would be on a different continent for a week would be easy to handle, but as the night winds down, he finds himself wishing they could push off Chanyeol's departure. After dinner, Chanyeol drives Yoongi home and he grows quiet in the passenger seat, staring out at the passing street lights.

"You okay?" Chanyeol says when they stop at a red light. "You were pretty chatty at dinner, but you haven't said a word since we left."

Yoongi looks over and shrugs, offering a small smile. "I'm fine."

"Come on, you can't start lying to me already."

"I am okay," Yoongi says, shifting in his seat. "I just, wasn't expecting to really feel anything about you being gone for a week."

"Are you already missing me?"

Yoongi knows Chanyeol's teasing to try and lift his mood, but he stays quiet, fingers pressed to his mouth as he gets lost in his thoughts again. The light turns green.

"Hey, it's just for a week," Chanyeol says when he realizes his attempt didn't work. "It's not like I'll lose contact with modern society once I'm over there. The internet will still work."

"It's not that," Yoongi says, dropping his hands to his lap. "Our tour rehearsals begin next week."

"Oh."

Tour rehearsals mean when Chanyeol returns, Yoongi won't have any time to meet for at least a few weeks. Maybe they'll sneak in a visit but Yoongi will be exhausted and then he'll begin the months of travel which will really make seeing each other difficult.

"We'll work it out," Chanyeol says, holding his hand out. Yoongi doesn't hesitate to slip his hand in Chanyeol's, wanting the physical contact now that he can have it. "I hear video sex is great."

"From who?"

Chanyeol clears his throat. "Slightly questionable sources, now that I think about it."

They had agreed it would be good to take things slow for a bit, just to ease into things again. But if they're not going to see each other for at least a few weeks after this, Yoongi is suddenly second-guessing that plan. He takes his phone out and texts Seokjin.

**yoongi:** are you staying at the dorm tonight?  
 **seokjin:** yeah why  
 **yoongi:** you need to leave  
 **yoongi:** at least bunk with someone else  
 **seokjin:** are you kicking me out because you're bringing chanyeol home  
 **yoongi:** yes and we're going to fuck  
 **seokjin:** christ ok thank you for the bluntness  
 **seokjin:** that was sarcasm btw  
 **yoongi:** i know hyung some of us can deduce sarcasm by ourselves  
 **seokjin:** jerk  
 **seokjin:** don't be too loud  
 **seokjin:** i know jungkookie loves that you guys are together but if he finds out what you sound like when you have sex  
 **seokjin:** im not certified to provide therapy for that

Yoongi spends the rest of the car ride quiet for a different reason, nervous about whether Chanyeol will actually accept his invite to come upstairs, if he'll actually have to explain what he wants and why he wants it. Out the corner of his eye, he can see Chanyeol glance at him every now and then, but doesn't say anything.

When they pull into the underground garage, Yoongi points and says, "Park over there."

Chanyeol follows the instruction without question, but after he kills the engine, he says, "Is there more you want to talk about?"

Yoongi sucks in his bottom lip. "I kicked Seokjin out of our room."

"Oh. Okay."

"You're going to be traveling and I'll be in rehearsals, then I'll be traveling."

"So I should come upstairs."

Yoongi finally looks at Chanyeol. "I'd like you to, yes," he says, keeping eye contact so Chanyeol can tell this isn't a rash decision on his part. "But you shouldn't feel pressured to."

"I'll come up," Chanyeol says, unbuckling his seatbelt. "If it doesn't feel right, I'll leave."

The elevator ride seems tense, at least to Yoongi. When an old lady gets on in the lobby, he becomes uncomfortable, paranoid that his thoughts of what he wants to do with Chanyeol — to him — are being broadcast out loud. She alights before them and Chanyeol grabs his hand out of view from the security camera in the corner.

"You still want me to stay?"

Yoongi answers by dragging Chanyeol out of the elevator on their floor.

Seokjin pokes his head out of the kitchen when they walk in and Chanyeol greets him politely. All Yoongi wants is to get them behind closed doors, but Seokjin asks Chanyeol how he's been and while he answers, Jungkook ventures out and runs up to jump on Chanyeol's back in excitement.

"Hyung!" Jungkook says, nearly toppling Chanyeol over. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"It's good to see you too."

"Did you and Yoongi-hyung have a good time?" Jungkook says, looking over at Yoongi finally. Yoongi wants to scream, specifically wants to scream the words, ' _stop talking to him because I need him to fuck me_ ', but Seokjin may murder him if he does that.

"I did," Chanyeol says, smiling over at Yoongi. "I think he did too, but you know he doesn't like revealing when he enjoyed something."

Jungkook keeps chatting with Chanyeol and Yoongi catches Seokjin's eye from across the room. The jerk is finding Yoongi's suffering over Jungkook's obliviousness _amusing_ , shoulders shaking as he laughs to himself, pointing over in Jungkook's direction like some sort of punchline.

"I thought you were leaving tomorrow for Europe?" Jungkook says, and Chanyeol shifts his weight from one foot to the other, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah, I fly to Rome in the afternoon."

"Are you packed already?"

"Ah, no, last minute kind of guy."

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook," Seokjin finally says, still snickering. He tips his chin toward Chanyeol, then Yoongi. "Leave the new couple alone."

"Huh?" Jungkook's head swivels between Chanyeol and Yoongi, eyes wide and lost. It takes a couple of seconds before realization dawns and Yoongi can actually see the tips of his ears go pink. "O-Oh! Shit. Sorry, uhhh, it was cool to see you Chanyeol-hyung, I have to go do something important now. Yeah."

Chanyeol laughs and slaps Jungkook on the back. "Sure, talk later."

Continuing his silence, Yoongi pivots and starts down the hall with the assumption that Chanyeol will follow. He and Jungkook do not make eye contact and he hopes Jungkook is in the mood to listen to his music very loudly through his headphones.

"The maknaes are always the nicest," Chanyeol says, catching up to Yoongi easily with a few large strides. He slings his arm around Yoongi's shoulders after they step into Yoongi's room and closes the door, immediately dragging Yoongi back to pin him against the wall. "And best at cockblocking."

This is escalating much faster than what Yoongi had been expecting, but he's not going to stop it. Instead he places his palms on Chanyeol's chest, slides them up to grab his Chanyeol's collar, and pulls him down for a kiss he's been wanting all night. Chanyeol still tastes like the ice cream they had for dessert and Yoongi licks into his mouth eagerly, cupping his hand behind Chanyeol's neck.

Chanyeol's hands land on Yoongi's waist, squeezing, and Yoongi's cock is already reacting, little sparks of pleasure ricocheting in him just from the way Chanyeol sucks on his bottom lip between kisses. It's not enough, though. The amount of clothes they have on irritates Yoongi and he tugs on Chanyeol's sweater, whining into the kiss at the same time.

"Tell me what you want," Chanyeol says, rendering Yoongi's thoughts useless when he's staring at Yoongi like he's about to devour him. "Or tell me if we shouldn't do this."

"You better not fucking stop," Yoongi says, and hooks his leg around Chanyeol's, tugging it forward so he can grind his hips against Chanyeol's thigh.

"Shit, you're hard already," Chanyeol says, staring down at Yoongi's hips as they move. He drops his hands to Yoongi's ass, pulling at the same time he presses his thigh up and Yoongi covers his mouth to muffle a moan. "Guess it was ridiculous to think we could take it slow."

Yoongi's sex life has practically been a drought since the last time he and Chanyeol slept together. It's probably worse for them to fuck right before they know their schedules will clash for months, but Yoongi does not give a shit. The only thing on his mind is getting Chanyeol's dick in him and he makes that clear to Chanyeol.

"Don't you dare make me come like this," Yoongi says, pushing the hem of Chanyeol's sweater up so he can untuck the shirt underneath. "You're fucking me tonight. I'm not coming without your dick inside me."

"Jesus," Chanyeol exhales, pulling his sweater over his head and starting to unbutton his shirt before the former even hits the ground. "Get naked and get on the bed."

Yoongi doesn't need to be told twice. He strips down and leaves a trail of clothes between the door and his bed, stopping to dig out lube and a condom from his nightstand. He lies back and strokes himself, tight and slow, circling his thumb around the slippery head which always makes him shiver.

"I missed this sight," Chanyeol says, kicking away his underwear as he crawls onto the bed, immediately settling between Yoongi's legs. "Look at you."

Yoongi's gaze drops down Chanyeol's torso. "Your abs are gone."

"Well, don't make me self-conscious now."

Yoongi shakes his head. "I'm not in any place to judge," he says, pushing himself up a little so he can pinch Chanyeol's hip teasingly. "You've got a tummy now, it's cute."

"You can marvel at its cuteness later," Chanyeol says, patting behind him for the lube. He squeezes some into his palm, which is confusing, until Chanyeol knocks Yoongi's hand away and takes over stroking Yoongi's cock, the wet slide of his hand making heat pool in his gut. "Can you come twice?"

Yoongi's head spins at what Chanyeol's suggesting. "I don't know."

"Let's find out," Chanyeol says, pulling away to slick two fingers on his other hand. He palms Yoongi's cock, pressing it up and nudges Yoongi's legs further apart. The initial press of his fingers makes Yoongi tense, the sensation cold and unexpected, and Chanyeol waits for him to relax again before easing both fingers in gently.

It only takes a few tries before Chanyeol finds Yoongi's prostate and he doesn't tease, circling his fingers over it with just enough pressure to make Yoongi moan, the hand on Yoongi's cock stroking him firmly. Yoongi's orgasm grows quickly, his stomach dipping each time Chanyeol focuses on the tip, rubbing his thumb back and forth along the underside.

"Fuck, gonna come," Yoongi says, pressing his head back into the pillow, hands clutching the sheets tightly. He squeezes around Chanyeol's fingers so hard they're barely even moving in him, just a firm pressure against his prostate that's making Yoongi's head swim.

Chanyeol doubles up on his efforts, stroking Yoongi faster and twisting his hand at the top. Yoongi comes with a loud, shuddering exhale, back arching briefly as he shoots all over his chest and stomach, some getting on his collarbone even. He doesn't remember when he last came this hard and Chanyeol prolongs it expertly, slowing his hand, but keeping the grip tight as he coaxes the last drop from Yoongi, who's trembling a little as he settles into the aftershocks, eyes barely able to stay open.

"That was fucking amazing," Chanyeol says, bracing his hand over Yoongi's shoulder as he leans down to kiss Yoongi deeply, inhaling as he pulls back. His fingers are still in Yoongi and he fucks him lazy and gentle, which sends bursts of warmth that feel just short of too much through Yoongi's body, leaving his skin tingling. "Fuck, I really, _really_ missed seeing that."

It's impossible for Yoongi to stop his grin, that orgasm leaving his emotions on full display. He draws Chanyeol in for another kiss, then another, until Chanyeol laughs a little and forces Yoongi to let him go.

"Let me clean you up first," Chanyeol says, grabbing some tissues. He doesn't wipe down Yoongi right away, instead stares at the mess on his chest for a moment. It's obvious by the look in his eyes that he likes what he sees and Yoongi files this moment away for future use. Finally, he snaps out of it and cleans Yoongi off.

Yoongi's cock has gone soft and lays heavy against his thigh. He jerks in sensitivity when he brushes his fingers along its length.

"I don't know if you're going to get a second one out of me," he mumbles, though staring at Chanyeol's cock certainly makes him want to try.

"I'll give you ten minutes," Chanyeol says, lying down. "Let's make out a little more."

Chanyeol takes Yoongi's elbow to pull him in, but Yoongi has other ideas and pushes Chanyeol onto his back, climbing on top after. Yoongi's body still feels heavy and he rests most of his weight on Chanyeol, bracing his arms above Chanyeol's shoulders.

"Okay, let's make out a little more," Yoongi says, running his fingers through Chanyeol's hair. There's no product in it today and so it's a bit fluffy, but it's cute and Yoongi likes how it feels. He kisses Chanyeol lazily at first, dragging their lips together and tugging on Chanyeol's bottom lip with his teeth. At some point, Chanyeol takes over and runs his hands up and down Yoongi's back, deepening each kiss and letting his tongue brush along Yoongi's.

It's impossible not to notice Chanyeol's cock brushing against Yoongi's backside. Yoongi reaches behind and curls his fingers around it, giving it a few tugs. Feeling it in his hand is what stirs his body to become interested again as he imagines what it'll feel like in him, how full and stretched he'd be.

"Scoot back a little," Chanyeol says, and Yoongi immediately obliges, sitting up and shifting back until Chanyeol's cock slides snug between his cheeks. Chanyeol's eyes flutter shut immediately and Yoongi takes Chanyeol's hands, holding onto them for balance as he starts circling his hips and rocking them back and forth, drinking in every single subtle and not-so-subtle response in Chanyeol's body.

It's tempting to get Chanyeol off just like this. Something about the desperation and frenzy of it attracts Yoongi to it, but it's not enough to get rid of his desire to have Chanyeol in him. His dick has had a decent break and he cups himself lightly, grinding into his palm to get himself hard again. He has his eyes closed while he does it and when he opens them again, the first thing he sees is Chanyeol staring headily at him, eyes dark, and that alone gets his cock halfway there.

"Get on my dick," Chanyeol says, a clear command instead of a request, and Yoongi rushes to obey, rolling a condom on and grabbing the lube to quickly coat Chanyeol's cock. In his haste, he uses too much, but something tells him Chanyeol will like it wet.

He has to force himself to relax as he lines up Chanyeol's cock, rubbing it over his hole to spread the lube around. Chanyeol helps hold up his weight and it makes the initial breach of Chanyeol's cock easier, though Yoongi still holds his breath, thighs shaking, as he slowly sinks down onto Chanyeol's length, pausing in the middle to get used the stretch. They both moan when Yoongi's ass finally settles against Chanyeol's hips. Yoongi squeezes around Chanyeol weakly, already a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Why are you fucking big," Yoongi grumbles, riding Chanyeol with slow, shallow thrusts. All he feels right now is the stretch and pressure of Chanyeol in him and he tries to find the right angle that will make him see stars.

"You didn't take it like it was big," Chanyeol says, sucking in a breath as Yoongi's movements grow bolder. "Fuck, you feel amazing."

Yoongi braces his hands on Chanyeol's thighs and, fuck, right there, he has the perfect angle, his ass tightening around Chanyeol without meaning to. With such an obvious tell, Chanyeol grabs Yoongi's hips and starts thrusting up and each drag of his cock forces a moan out of Yoongi's throat.

"Oh my god," Yoongi groans, digging his nails into Chanyeol's thighs so hard it's definitely going to leave marks. But Chanyeol's dick is grazing Yoongi's prostate with every thrust and his own cock is shiny with precome at the tip, bobbing in the air as he rides Chanyeol harder.

"Let's switch," Chanyeol says, bangs sticking to his forehead when Yoongi looks down at him. He looks so unbelievably attractive, cheeks flushed, and Yoongi nods, willing to do anything right now if it means Chanyeol will keep fucking him. Chanyeol doesn't even pull out, just loops one arm around Yoongi's waist and rolls them over, lifting Yoongi's hips to shove a pillow underneath. "Ready?"

Yoongi doesn't get to answer. Chanyeol grabs Yoongi's hips and thrusts experimentally a few times, staring at Yoongi's face, and the moment Yoongi gasps Chanyeol's expression shifts into something dangerous and he starts fucking Yoongi hard and fast, and the sudden friction against Yoongi's prostate is so overwhelming that he actually cries out, fumbling to cover his mouth because he knows everyone in the dorm just heard that.

His cock is leaving a mess on his stomach, precome smearing over his abdomen. The head is a deep red and he's even harder than before. He might come the second he touches himself, but wonders if Chanyeol could fuck his orgasm out of him if he keeps this pace up long enough.

"God, _fuck me_ , that's so fucking good," Yoongi says, his words slurred, another cut off moan leaving him when Chanyeol throws Yoongi's legs over his shoulders and leans forward, bending Yoongi in half. "Fuck, I can't."

"You can. Are you close?"

Yoongi can't really tell. The only thing he knows is the heat of Chanyeol's cock and how good of a dicking he's getting. "Touch me."

Chanyeol drops Yoongi's legs and has them wrap around his middle instead. He leans down even more and wraps a hand around Yoongi's cock at the same time he closes his mouth over one of Yoongi's nipples, flicking his tongue over the nub roughly until it's hard before switching to the other and repeating the process. Yoongi grabs at another pillow and bites down on a corner, his lungs burning as he holds his breath, chasing his orgasm. It's so close, just out of reach, but with another flick of Chanyeol's wrist and his thumb pressing into the slit of Yoongi's cock, Yoongi tumbles over, taking large gulps of breath as he spills into Chanyeol's hand. Warmth bursts in him and floods his body and his vision actually goes a little hazy, leaving him lightheaded.

Meanwhile, Chanyeol has buried his face in Yoongi's neck and his hips move stiffly, thrusting into Yoongi hard enough that it aches a little, then he just stops and lets out a strained groan, grinding his hips against Yoongi as he comes. Yoongi can feel each tiny jerk of his cock and it makes the whole thing hotter as Chanyeol clings to him, riding it out.

Neither of them say anything for a while and the only sounds are their heavy breathing as they recover. Yoongi's skin starts to feel clammy, cold now that they're just lying there. Eventually, Chanyeol pushes himself up and pulls out, leaving Yoongi uncomfortably empty.

"Now _that_ was an amazing fuck," Chanyeol says, reminiscent of the words Yoongi used last year. This time he goes over to Yoongi's closet to grab a bath towel to clean them off. He wipes Yoongi down first, then himself, tossing the towel into the hamper before diving into the empty spot next to Yoongi. "To be honest, I wasn't expecting it to be like that," he says, massaging Yoongi's hip gently.

"Me neither," Yoongi says and pushes Chanyeol's sweat damp hair back. "You look stupidly hot right now."

Chanyeol smirks. "Temperature-wise or attractiveness?"

"Both," Yoongi says, noting Chanyeol's face is still flushed. "You know you just set an unreasonably high standard for our sex life going forward."

Chanyeol shrugs. "You think I can't maintain this standard? Because challenge accepted."

"Maybe it will, since the next time we'll get this much time together will probably be months from now."

Chanyeol frowns a little. "We'll find time before then," he says, taking Yoongi's hand and kissing the palm. "I'll come over even if it's just to sleep for real."

"Yeah, I know," Yoongi says, offering a small smile. He squeezes Chanyeol's hand and leans in to kiss him softly. "Maybe we'll get lucky and end up in a different country at the same time."

"Send me your tour schedule in advance and I'll see what I can do."

Yoongi drags his thumb across Chanyeol's brow. "Are you staying?"

Chanyeol sighs, looking at his watch. "I want to, but I can't," he says, sitting up. "I really need to pack in the morning for my trip."

Yoongi pushes himself up too and hangs on to Chanyeol's shoulders. He kisses the side of Chanyeol's neck. "Shower before you go?"

"Sure, but separately," Chanyeol says, laughing a little. "If you come with, I'll never make it out. Plus, I think showering together is a safety hazard anyway."

"Go," Yoongi says, squeezing Chanyeol's thigh. "I'm starving again anyway and need sustenance. And to see if Jungkook can look me in the eye."

Chanyeol laughs and scoots to the edge of the bed. "I hope he heard everything. It's partially his fault we've ended up here anyway."

Before Chanyeol stands, Yoongi crawls over and circles his arms around Chanyeol's middle. He's being far too physically affectionate for his own comfort, but he pushes down his pride because he doesn't know when the next time he'll actually get to be in the same room as Chanyeol will be, much less be able to touch him freely.

"Am I not taking a shower anymore?" Chanyeol says, draping his arm around Yoongi's shoulders.

"You are," Yoongi says, muffled into the crook of Chanyeol's neck. "You're sticky and disgusting."

"Okay, but you have to let me go first," Chanyeol says, pushing Yoongi's hair back to kiss his forehead.

That's enough displays of affection for Yoongi. He leans on Chanyeol for a few more seconds, then slowly pulls away, sending Chanyeol off with a gentle shove. He rolls out of bed after Chanyeol disappears and digs around the closet for a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt.

It feels a little weird to walk around the apartment after banging someone, moreso because it was so good, but he supposes it's weirder for Chanyeol to pass everyone by on the way to the bathroom. Right on schedule, the sound of Taehyung's voice rings through the dorm, congratulating Chanyeol for getting laid. Luckily, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen when Yoongi makes his way to the kitchen, and neither is anyone else.

He's just pulled out some kimbap when Jungkook strolls in and promptly stops and does his best impression of a deer in headlights.

"Oh. Hyung. Hello."

Yoongi clears his throat and nods minutely in acknowledgement. Jungkook turns toward the sound of the shower running and then back to study Yoongi, who belatedly thinks about what he actually looks like right now.

"Is, um, is Chanyeol-hyung staying over?"

Yoongi shakes his head and shoves a piece of kimbap in his mouth.

"Oh, that's too bad," Jungkook says and Yoongi monitors him in his peripheral vision. "Okay, cool, I'm gonna go back to my stuff."

Yoongi lifts a hand and gives a single, small wave.

Jungkook starts to turn, but then says, "By the way, um, Namjoon-hyung might not be able to look at you for like, a week or two."

"Why?"

"He was listening to music, but then he stopped, and it was when you guys um. Yeah."

"How do you know he was listening to music and then stopped?"

A look of panic flashes across Jungkook's face. He clearly looks like he's trying to think of something that'll get him out of admitting the obvious, but he's already been caught.

"Were you all listening on purpose?"

"No."

"Okay, you liar," Yoongi says, picking up his plate and skirting by Jungkook. "You know, Seokjin told me not to scar you, but I'll let him know you're having no trouble adapting."

"Hyung!"

"I don't want to hear it," Yoongi calls over his shoulder.

As he passes by the bathroom, the door opens and Chanyeol steps out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Yoongi stares at him flatly and Chanyeol shrugs.

"Taehyung was really enthusiastic about us getting together," Chanyeol says, following behind Yoongi back to his room.

"Great, that is exactly what I need," Yoongi says flatly, sitting at his desk. Chanyeol casually drops his towel and bends over ass facing Yoongi to pick up his clothes. "I really can't tell if you're a genius or completely oblivious."

Chanyeol shakes his butt. "The former."

After Chanyeol's dressed, he stands there with his hands on his hips and sighs, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Well, I guess I should go."

"Yeah, I guess," Yoongi says, doing a terrible job of not pouting. He rolls a piece of kimbap back and forth over the plate.

Chanyeol takes two steps and braces his hands on the armrests of Yoongi's chair. "You're adorable," he says, grinning as he takes in Yoongi's expression. "And you're my boyfriend."

"Stop insulting me."

Chanyeol laughs and grabs Yoongi's hand. "Come on, walk me out."

 

Yoongi stands, but before they get to the door, he stops Chanyeol and, after a brief moment of hesitation, pulls Chanyeol down for one of those cliched foot-popping, toe-curling kisses, one hand in Chanyeol's hair and the other bunched in Chanyeol's shirt. There's no tongue, just the firm press of their lips dragging over each other, and he's pleased when he pulls away to see Chanyeol try to follow to get more, looking disoriented.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Chanyeol mumbles, sliding his arms around Yoongi's waist.

"Can't do that out there, so," Yoongi says, shrugging.

"I kind of wish you would though," Chanyeol says, brushing his lips against Yoongi's.

Yoongi holds on to the sides of Chanyeol's shirts. "I'll work up to it," he says, which seems to make Chanyeol immensely happy.

For now, Yoongi allows Chanyeol to keep holding his hand even when they step out of the room and head to the front door. Everyone seems to be staying in their rooms for now though, so Yoongi tightens his grip.

"If you won't video chat with me," Chanyeol says as he puts on his shoes. "Will you at least call while I'm gone?"

"I didn't say I wouldn't video chat," Yoongi says, re-visiting his hesitation around kissing Chanyeol where one of the guys could walk by and see. He forgot how good Chanyeol looks in a wool coat.

"Great, I'll put a virtual date on your calendar," Chanyeol says, shooting finger guns at Yoongi. He takes a deep breath and holds out his arms. "Okay, come here," he says and gathers Yoongi in a tight hug.

Suddenly, Yoongi feels all anxious again. When Chanyeol tries to pull away, Yoongi doesn't let him go. Chanyeol doesn't say anything and keeps his arms around Yoongi, rubbing his back.

"Sorry," Yoongi says, finally stepping away. He offers a small smile. "Have a good trip. Safe travels, all that."

"Nothing to apologize for," Chanyeol says, slipping his hands into his pockets. "All right, I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for a really nice date."

Yoongi only nods and waves absently when Chanyeol finally leaves and the door lock chimes behind him. Then he just stands there for a few moments, wondering what he should be doing now. Turning around, he discovers Taehyung poking his face around the corner, a dumb grin on his face.

"Hyung!" Taehyung whisper-shouts, even though there's no reason to. "I'm really happy for you!"

Yoongi presses his lips into a thin line and heads back to his room. As he walks by, Taehyung clarifies, "The dating and you getting laid!"

Yoongi pulls him into a headlock, Taehyung's words lifting the gray cloud that had been muddling his thoughts, suddenly lighthearted, and tells him to stop being a pervert.

Doesn't say out loud that, despite the uncertainty the next couple months will bring, he's happy too.

Well and truly, disgustingly, happy.

+

Another year, another award season. Yoongi tugs at his bowtie that the stylist did too tight so it's not pressing right on his trachea. Next to him in the van, Hoseok is rambling excitedly about something he's looking at on his phone. Yoongi isn't following, he's waiting for a reply from Chanyeol on his own phone. He doesn't have to wait long.

**chanyeol:** jongin is taking FOREVER  
 **chanyeol:** so is junmyeon  
 **chanyeol:** they don't understand i'm on a schedule  
 **chanyeol:** to see your cute face  
 **yoongi:** you saw me two days ago  
 **chanyeol:** yeah forever ago and i miss you

Yoongi rolls his eyes and is about to type another reply when Jimin's head pops over his shoulder.

"Are you flirting with Chanyeol?" Jimin says, chin digging into Yoongi's collarbone. "Tell him we say hi."

"Stop being so nosy," Yoongi says, shoving Jimin away. There's an annoying round of teasing from the backseat plus Hoseok when he realizes what's going on. Yoongi tunes them out.

**chanyeol:** hey what do you want for our 9 month anniversary  
 **yoongi:** stop wanting to celebrate every single month  
 **chanyeol:** :(  
 **yoongi:** not gonna work  
 **chanyeol:** ok we can celebrate by banging tonight at the hotel

Yoongi rolls his eyes, but of course can't help but now look forward to when they can finally retire for the night. Both groups are staying in the same hotel and Jimin and Chanyeol have already made plans to switch. He's probably going to be too tired to actually do anything, but the idea of spending a quiet evening with Chanyeol is almost more enticing.

**yoongi:** i'll hold you to that  
 **yoongi:** esp after we beat you for artist of the year  
 **chanyeol:** wow fighting words  
 **chanyeol:** it's fine bring on the hate sex

Yoongi actually laughs out loud and then feels his cheeks warm when everyone looks at him knowingly. He slips his phone away, clearing his throat, and looks pointedly out the window.

He first sees Chanyeol when they're finishing up in front of the mob of photographers. Even from a distance, he can tell Chanyeol looks irritatingly handsome, his hair styled out of his eyes, wearing all black.

A group of fans yell Yoongi's name and he smiles and waves. A producer calls for them and Namjoon grabs his elbow. Yoongi turns one more time, lets his gaze linger for just a moment longer, taking in Chanyeol's smile before he turns and follows everyone into the venue.

Maybe, if luck would have it, they might run into each other later.

**Author's Note:**

> i cannot believe i wrote 26k of a pairing only like, 3 people are into
> 
> you can find me on twt @ensnarable whining about how i'm 10k behind on nanowrimo and am about to start from scratch a fest fic due in like, 5 days


End file.
